


The Medic's Magic Little Secret

by orphan_account



Category: Team Fortress 2
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-27
Updated: 2015-09-07
Packaged: 2018-04-11 12:57:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 21,670
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4436339
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>RED Medic has been cursed by Merasmus, again, except every month of every year for a week he is shrunk into a little fairy-type, if only because he poked fun at Merasmus’ “fairy magic”. Now not only does he have to deal with a battle the night the curse is due, he must also deal with his teammates knowing his magic little secret.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Mischief Begins

**Author's Note:**

> This is literally my first fanfic, please don't kill me. It was inspired by an image I saw on a video (and sadly haven't found it outside that video so I can't give credit rather unfortunately) of a tiny Medic-fairy pulling at Heavy's ear.
> 
> Brace for ridiculousness!

To put it simply, the Medic was not having a good day in this particular battle. His head was spinning, he was off-balance, and he felt almost numb as he forced his legs into running after the Heavy. It was becoming hard work to even stay _conscious_ now as his lungs were screaming for him to stop running, as his heart was pounding like a bass drum within his ribcage. And to make matters worse, it was pouring with rain and the mud was getting thicker and harder to wade through by the second. Then the Medic remembered what day it was and his heart almost leapt from his chest in panic before-

“Doktor! Charge me!” Heavy bellowed back to the Medic, firing rapidly upon their attackers of the opposite team. The German rolled his eyes and did so, flicking the switch and feeling his knees almost buckle beneath the kick the Kritzkrieg gave as the übercharge fired. Heavy yelled and moved forwards, a relentless sea of bullets firing upon all in his path and mowing them down as if they were mere blades of grass in the face of a brutal lawn mower. Medic coughed and shook his head, blinking and frowning at the ridiculous thought.

“ _Dummkopf_ …” he muttered to himself, trying to follow Heavy as best he could through the thickening mud of the Sawmill fort. It was raining heavily now and he was soaked through even to his socks and feet beneath thick leather boots. The German doctor watched as the Scout of their team sprinted past with the enemy’s intelligence, yelling at them to retreat and move back as the Administrator soon taunted out their team’s victory. It was his saving grace as he allowed the Spy behind him to take his life once more, the Respawn’s infernal ways chewing his body up in seconds and spitting him out into the spawn room. The darkness cleared from his eyes for but a moment, yet it didn’t stop the world from tilting sideways suddenly, Medic’s knees buckling beneath him and sending him to the ground like a sack of potatoes. The Kritzkrieg fell with him and its casing cracked, spilling the Medigun’s vapour out into the room. He was vaguely aware of everyone crowding around him as his vision darkened again, unconsciousness claiming him just as Heavy pushed everyone aside and picked his almost lifeless form up as if he were a mere ragdoll.

Then nothing.

* * *

  
_He was dreaming and by God was it pleasant. To finally escape the torment of the battlefield and retreat into his own mind for peace and sanity, or rather what little sanity remained in that head of his as he wandered aimlessly about his mind’s sanctuary. It was strange to him though, that his mind resembled a Japanese flower garden and that there was a river of crimson blood just casually flowing through it. Doves twittered and robins flew from tree to tree, making him smile wider as he spied Archimedes perched on the branch of a blood-red bonsai tree._

_“Archimedes, mein precious burd, vhat are you doing up zhere?” Medic chuckled, reaching an arm out to him and watching the blood-splattered dove coo and fly down to him obediently. The German chuckled and stroked his head with a finger, gentle and calming as he nuzzled the white and red dove in contentment. He hummed and soon was moving around again with growing ease as he no longer felt like he was being dragged through water. It was like walking on clouds. It was heavenly. So much peace inside his own mind, keeping him detached from reality. A foreign smell of coffee burned his nose and he looked around to see a figure that vaguely resembled the Sniper moving away. Medic rolled his eyes, knowing his time in this dream was slowly drawing to an end._

_“I don’t vant to vake up… it’s rubbish out zhere, especially given vhat vill happen tonight…” he sighed, letting Archimedes fly off as the dream burst into a mass of colour, as if it had all been constructed out of ink. It took a moment before everything seemed to melt, like ink being dropped into water, creating beautiful clouds that were a mess of colours and hues. Another sigh left him and he looked up, darkness encroaching. He accepted it, opening his arms wide and allowing it to claim him with a soft chuckle that didn’t seem like his own. It seemed more like that wizard’s laugh…_

* * *

  
When Medic awoke again, he found himself tucked into his bed in his quarters with a cold towel on his forehead to keep his burning temperature down. A slight groan passed dry lips and he shifted only to realise just how tightly tucked in he was as he could barely shift his arms.

“ _Schweinehunds_ …” he spat quietly, coughing again as he laid back and let his head hit the soft pillows with a groan. His head was pounding and he had no recollection of anything that had happened several hours prior to now. The room smelled strongly of coffee and cigarettes – that could only have meant that the rest of the Support Class had gotten him to his room and had cared for him while he was out. How inconsiderate of him, he thought, to have just passed out on his friends and teammates like that and then to rely upon the Sniper and the Spy to carry his sorry arse back to his bed as if he were a child that needed utmost care and attention. Disgraceful.

“You awake now mate?” Sniper’s thick accent called from the doorway, the German looking over and blinking sleepily and narrowing his eyes since he was without his glasses.

“ _Ja_ , I am now. How tightly did you tuck me in?” He said distastefully as he tried to shift his arms and free himself a bit from the tight cotton-cover prison.

“Nah, that was Heavy’s doin’, mate. He’s been worried sick ‘bout ya.”

“He has?” Medic frowned, finally managing to give himself enough leeway to sit up and kick the covers off, only to discover his uniform had been removed and he’d been dressed into his pyjamas. “Alright, who did zhis.” He huffed, looking down at the dove pyjamas he’d been given a couple of Christmases ago from his ‘secret Santa’ (which had been, without a shadow of a doubt, Heavy).

“I’ll give ya eight guesses an’ the first seven don’ count.” The Australian chuckled, smirking as Medic shook his head and sighed.

“Of course it’d be Heavy to dress me in zhis…” he muttered, swinging his legs around and sitting on the edge of his bed with a soft groan as he stretched. He was aching all over and his throbbing headache wasn’t doing much to help with neither mood nor his physical state.

“Vait, vhat time is it?” he said with renewed panic almost, looking up at Sniper with wide eyes.

“Ten tah midnight, mate, why?”

“Get out.”

“Oi, that’s rude don’ ya thi-“

“OUT!” Medic shouted, standing and ushering him out before swiftly dressing himself again into his fortunately dry uniform. He had ten minutes. _Ten minutes!_ He was just thankful that he’d woken up before midnight itself! He’d always hated the first week of every month as it just spelled out ruddy trouble for him, trouble in the biggest forms he’d ever see in his life. A year after the first incident and he still wasn’t used to it! Damn that wizard!

The world blurred and tilted for him again, making him stumble and sink down against his desk with a groan. He fumbled around for his glasses and bonesaw, hitching the weapon to his belt loops and quickly putting the glasses on as he tried to steady himself on jelly legs.

“Oh mein gott…” he panted softly, looking up at the clock on his desk and seeing that already seven minutes had passed. He had three minutes to write down the absence note for this month for the Spy to take and God only knew that it wouldn’t be long enough. Medic grabbed at his fountain pen and snatched at his paper, scrawling away in cursive swiftly.

_~ Herr Spy, you know the drill. It’s the same time as it is every month and I will need you to cover for me again, bitte. If anyone asks, this time it’s up to you and your creativity to craft a good enough reason as to why I’m abse-_

It cut off as midnight struck, Medic’s hand dropping the pen as he froze up in fear. Ink splattered the parchment and obscured some of the words much to his displeasure before warmth passed through his body and made every inch of him tingle and itch. He tried to fight the burning urge to scratch, knowing whether he did or didn't wouldn't matter much. Besides, why would it matter now? It was already too late for him and this curse had screwed him over more times that he cared to count. After all, Herr Spy had found out about this little monthly mishap of his and that was enough embarrassment to last a lifetime! Medic gave in, the German scratching and itching at his arms, torso, hips, and legs in annoyance before giving a yell of distress. There was a soft _poof_ and the Medic was standing there no more as pink-red dust shimmered in a silhouette of his previous form.

To anyone that may have been watching the ordeal it would have been a massive cause for utmost concern to see the strict German doctor now an outline of fairy dust that hung still in the air. Except, it wasn’t. He wasn't dust, he was now on the floor, two and a half inches tall with little silvery wings that twitched and quivered as he groaned after a moment, voice an octave or two higher.

“Damn you… Merasmus…” he panted before slipping unconscious, perhaps the most dangerous thing to do when two and half inches tall and in a room that had just had its door broken down by an extremely worried Heavy that came storming in and was looking around in panic, voice roaring.

“WHERE IS LEETLE DOKTOR?!”


	2. Lost and found

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay chapter two since I was raring to go with another load of ridiculousness! Please excuse any errors since I type too fast and also excuse OOCness since I am not too good with writing their characters!
> 
> Brace for (more) ridiculousness!

Heavy had been so worried for the Doktor for so long, pacing outside his room and taking to hitting Scout every time he’d appeared to take the mick out of him. Silence had followed the muffled shout of ‘OUT!’ Medic had given about ten minutes or so ago, Sniper trailing out and shrugging at the Russian.

“Don’ look at me, mate, I ain’t got no idea why he’s actin’ like that.” Sniper had muttered, slouching off a little way before stopping at hearing Medic’s distinct yelp from inside his room. Heavy’s head had snapped around to look at the door, trying the handle.

“Doktor?” he frowned, the other mercenaries starting to appear in the corridor at the slight commotion as the Russian man growled and shoved against the door. “Is doktor okay?” he called again, accent thick with concern. Spy appeared by his side, having been taking a leisurely stroll down the quietened corridors, a frown on his usually stoic face as well.

“Kick it down, ‘eavy.” Spy said sharply, ordering him about with somewhat ease as Heavy nodded and soon charged the door.

“WHERE IS LEETLE DOKTOR?!” he bellowed in utmost concern, looking around as the other mercs piled in behind him yet all were greeted with an empty room. The only thing that showed any means of escape for the German was the open window, but that lead outside into the pouring rain and Medic definitely wouldn’t have fit through it unless he’d broken the glass.

“’eavy, calm down.” Spy tutted, stepping over the door carefully and frowning as they each looked around the room a little way. Spy sighed.

“Can anyone who isn’t ‘eavy, Sniper et moi _please_ leave? You’re making zhe room cramped!” he huffed, watching Soldier, Demo, Engi, Pyro and Scout all file out reluctantly with mutters and grumbles under their breaths. The Frenchman rolled his eyes and soon went back to looking around the room.

“There’s no signs of a struggle mate….” Sniper mumbled quietly, a bit unnerved at one of his friends going missing without any signs of anything happening.

“Hm… Indeed…” Spy nodded slightly, eyebrows knitted into a frown as he went to the desk and saw the ink-splattered note. In silence he read it, eyes widening as he pocketed it swiftly before the others could even realise it had been there. “Zhere is nozhing… Zhe glass ‘asn’t been broken, zhere ‘as been no struggle, zhere ‘as been nozhing at all in ‘ere.” He frowned deeper as Heavy started to stomp about in growing agitation.

“HEAVY WANTS TO KNOW WHERE LEETLE DOKTOR HAS GONE.” He shouted, face almost full of rage and confusion and even _fear_. It wasn’t exactly a secret that the burly Russian man reserved feelings for the German doctor, nor was it a secret that the German returned them so it came as no new surprise at Heavy’s utter concern and frustration at there being _nothing_.

“Oi mate calm down, I’m sure he’s round ‘ere somewhere…” Sniper said, though he didn’t sound so sure of his own words as he looked around nervously. “He ain’t the type tah just wander off in th’ middle of th’ night…” Spy couldn’t help but hum in agreement, soon moving around to the other side of the desk with almost careless footsteps. While he knew what had happened to Medic, it didn’t account for knowing _where_ he was. God help him.

Just as he had reached the other side of the desk, Heavy came stomping over like a bull in a china shop without any care nor grace. It was just as well that the Spy had spotted a little white figure on the floor, unconscious and completely exposed and just over two and a half inches tall. Heavy was about to stand on him too! Instantly Spy’s hand reached out and he grabbed the bulky Russian, heaving him back and just as he was about to get a punch, ducked under him and knelt beside the small white dot on the floor.

“What is Spy doing?!” Heavy growled, eyes almost flashing red in anger before he was silenced. Sniper joined the duo and stared.

“Yeh mate wot are ya doin’ down there?” Sniper frowned, watching Spy hiss at them to shut up before speaking quietly and carefully picking something up.

“Gentlemen, I ‘ave solved zhe little problem of our Medic going missing.” Spy said quietly, slowly standing and facing them with an impossibly tiny Medic curled up in his hand. As if that wasn’t strange enough to the two gawping onlookers, they saw what looked to be tiny silvery wings quivering from Medic’s back.

“What the bloody hell.” Sniper muttered, Heavy staring in shock at his precious doctor. What had done this to their medic?! To _his_ medic?!

“Keep your voice down, bushman, ‘e will go deaf ozherwise.” Spy snapped quietly, watching Medic start to stir from his unconscious state.

“Ow… mein gott…” he mumbled, voice small and a definite pitch higher than normal as his dainty little wings shimmered and flickered. They all stared in shock as he slowly sat himself up, hand still holding the now-tiny bonesaw as he coughed and cleared his head.

“Why is Doktor so tiny…?” Heavy mumbled, staring as Medic looked up at the voices around him that were definitely not Spy’s. A soft squeak left him and he panicked, wings lifting him immediately as he flitted around and hid behind Spy’s head in fright. The Russian blinked at how fast he moved now, Sniper having long since fainted from shock much to Spy’s disgust and amusement, before starting to chuckle softly.

“Leetle Doktor is so much more leetle now!” Heavy laughed softly, shaking his head. “What did dis to Doktor?” he smiled, watching the nervous fairy-like Medic peer out from behind Spy’s head.

“Merasmus did zhis to ‘im for insulting ‘is magic a year ago,” Spy explained, “et it happens every first week of every monzh.”

Heavy stared for a while, trying to wrap his head around this before giving up with all logicality. “So leetle Doktor is now teeny tiny fairy for a week?”

“Oui.”

“… How does Heavy help?” 

* * *

 

Medic was, needless to say, thoroughly embarrassed as Spy carefully picked him up from his shoulder and set him in Heavy’s giant meaty hands. His small wings quivered in small bursts nervously as he looked around in paranoia and slight dizziness from the rapid change in size that still got him every time. This just wasn’t fair anymore; first he had to deal with being humiliated because of his inability to remain conscious after the previous day’s battle, now he had to deal with being this useless little fairy thing! What next? Having to sit in the mess hall with the other mercenaries and nibble what crumbs he could get without being detected?! This was just ridiculous! Insanity! His wings were buzzing more and more in his silent annoyance, Heavy chuckling and carefully running a giant, sausage-like finger between them before watching he Medic make a ‘HOO’-ing noise and flop onto his front with a soft groan.

“Vhat…?” he mumbled, body going limp and gooey almost as he relaxed entirely against Heavy’s stroking while his fragile wings went still.

“Doktor needs to calm down, Heavy, Spy and Sniper will take care of others and will take care of leetle Medic.” Heavy said calmly, watching the tiny fairy-like man sprawl out in the palm of his hand and make another small noise of contentment at the stroking.

“’eavy, come on. Zhe ozhers will need informing of zhe Medic’s condition. Especially now zhat you et Sniper are aware of it.” Spy coaxed calmly, having to carry said Sniper out of the room since he’d fainted _again_. Heavy nodded and carefully carried Medic out of the room after Spy, watching the Frenchman make his way towards the common room where the other mercenaries were waiting. It took a little while if only because Spy had to keep stopping to readjust the lanky Australian’s position over his shoulder, but finally they got there and arrived to a room filled with nothing but silence. Even Scout wasn’t speaking, nor Soldier yelling. Hell, even Demo had laid off the booze and all in concern for Medic’s wellbeing. It was a stunning sight to see, to be honest in Spy’s opinion, since none of them really had much in common and it was a well-known fact how much Scout loathed the German ‘psycho’.

“Is the Doc okay?” Scout soon piped up, looking up from where he’d been tossing his baseball up and down in his bandaged hands. Spy nodded, setting Sniper down in his usual armchair and watching him readjust to simply sleep now.

“Oui, zhe docteur is quite alright. Zhough…”

“Though? Though wot laddie?” Demo frowned, looking up from where he’d been staring morosely at the fireplace.

“Zhough zhere ‘as been a slight… _complication_.” In seconds the common room was in uproar, even Pyro jumping about and making a fuss in worry and panic. Demo had the Eyelander out again, swinging it around in anger as Engi shouted too for once, the normally-calm Texan a frightening sight when thoroughly pissed off. Scout had thrown down the baseball and it had bounced up, off the ceiling and then off the wall before making a beeline for Heavy’s hand before Spy caught it and essentially saved Medic’s life.

“SILENCE!” Spy roared, rarely raising his voice in such a manner as everyone went deathly quiet. A chill passed through the room and Soldier was off muttering about his old roommate Merasmus again, almost to Spy’s amusement. “Zhat is enough!” he growled, composing himself again as he turned to Heavy and apologised to Medic for the sheer volume that had just partially deafened him and left a nasty ringing in his ears.

“It… it’s quite alright, Herr Spy…” Medic mumbled, though to everyone else they could only just hear him yet could not see him.

“Oi, what are ya pullin’ over there Spy?” Scout jumped up, frowning. “Some creepy ventriloquist act?” he snapped, Spy turning around and glaring.

“Non. I am talking to zhe Medic et apologising for you all acting like a bunch of apes at a circus!” Spy growled back, Scout blinking and frowning.

“Wait what?”

“Come et see for yourselves.” Spy snorted, Scout being the only one to move over and stare at the small, shaking white figure in Heavy’s giant hand. His eyes went wide and a twitch passed through his frame, mind just about melting it would seem as he said nothing for a long, long while.

“Looks like ye broke him laddie!” Demo snorted, staring at where Scout was just stock-still in amazement and seemed gobsmacked, astounded, dumbfounded, and speechless and every other word under the sun for just downright stunned. There was a beat in which there was just more silence before there was a soft thud. Scout had fainted.


	3. Revelations

Everyone couldn’t help but stare at the downed Scout, all frowning as Medic sat up and held onto Heavy’s giant finger.

“Vell. Zhat vas dramatic.” Medic huffed, staring still as his small wings quivered. Then everyone’s eyes turned to him and focused on the small dot in the Russian’s hand.

“Wot the bloody hell happened to ye lad?” Demo coughed, choking on laughter it would seem as he struggled to stay standing through his fits of laughter.

“Vell if you _must_ know, Merasmus cursed me a year ago vhen ve first encountered him.”

“Why?” Engi asked, frowning and removing his helmet to scratch at his head in confusion and growing curiosity.

“For calling his magic ‘fairy magic’.”

“So he made ya a fairy.”

“For vant of a better vord, ja.”

Demo erupted into more mad laughter, trying to use the Eyelander to stay upright before just falling straight over into his seat and laughing again while tears of mirth streamed down his cheeks. Soldier was immediately off cursing to the high heavens because of his former roommate, thoroughly annoyed and angered as Engi was having a hard time trying to piece together what he was currently seeing. The tiny Medi-fairy huffed and tutted at Demo’s behaviour, rolling his eyes as his wings flitted and picked him up a little.

“Excuse me, Herr Demo, if you don’t mind.” He sighed, the laughter ringing in his small, delicate ears now before he flitted straight over to him and pricked his nose with the miniature bonesaw. “Zhat is quite enough, _dummkopf._ ” Medic almost scolded him, Demo yelping as he held his nose that felt as if it had been pinpricked. The mini German flitted back straight away with surprisingly heightened reflexes, much to Spy’s amusement, and hovered in the air with his arms crossed and legs tucked up a little way. Soldier soon was trying to poke his head, muttering to himself about Merasmus yet again as the dark-haired German flitted and kept moving.

“Keep still damn it!” Soldier barked, following the small Medi-fairy about like a cat with a laser pointer as Engineer just continued to stare, almost awestruck.

“Hang about boy, so yer sayin’ y’all ain’t gonna be yerself ‘til the end of the week?” the confused Texan asked, Medic hissing at Soldier before landing on Engineer’s metal hand and nodding.

“Ja. I’m going to be like zhis all veek. Vatch your step.” Medic said, wings twitching and shimmering slightly in the warm glow of the fire. It was certainly befuddling and it was still wreaking havoc on the Engi’s scientific, logical mind; to be shrunk and made a fairy just didn’t fit into any kind of off-the-wall science theory! The Texan sighed again, forcing himself to just give in and accept that this was indeed sorcery of the most ridiculous kind.

“Wait a minute,” Engi blinked, “what about your metabolism? Surely it’s gon’ be heightened, right?”

“Ja. Considering zhat I am two und a half inches tall now, I am likely to need feeding… hm. Herr Spy, vhat vas zhe timing ve agreed it vould be vhile I am zhis size?”

“Every hour. Per’aps even every ‘alf hour depending on ‘ow much you exert yourself over zhe course of zhe day.” Spy reeled off, suspicious glances starting to turn to him amidst the confusion and amusement of the other mercs.

“Wait a minute Frenchie!” Soldier bellowed before lowering his voice and apologising to Medic swiftly. He stormed over and squared up to Spy, growling. “You mean you KNEW about this the whole time and didn’t tell us?!”

“Oui, zhat is indeed correct, Soldier.” Spy said, disgust on his face at how close the buffoon was getting to him. “Now if you don’t mind, kindly _move_.” Soldier growled and moved away, arms crossing.

“How in God’s name did you know and we didn’t? How long have you known?”

“An entire year et zhree monzhs, dear Soldier. I only know because I was _zhere_ when ‘e was cursed et I was _zhere_ when zhe curse ‘appened for zhe first time.” The masked man tutted, drawing a new cigarette from his spy kit and lighting it in a swift movement. At this admittance, Demoman finally managed to stop his inane laughter and sat up, wiping the tears from his eye.

“So why did ye not tell us boyo? Are we beneath ye? Are we not good enough for ye? Mr Smarmy pants?”

“Non. I was instructed not to tell any of you, to keep it under zhe utmost confidentiality lest I 'wished for my testicles to be relocated to my eyes'.” Spy sighed, growing bored of this. “As well as risking ruining our beloved Medic’s reputation as one of zhe most frightening men on zhe field. Et oui, I am not afraid to admit zhat.” Spy said, glaring daggers at those who smirked. Medic rolled his eyes and flitted up and down a bit to move away from Engineer who currently held him before he was snatched out of the air by a rather excitable Pyro. A yelp passed his tiny lips and his miniature glasses slipped and threatened to fall, one wing crumpled as he struggled.

“Nein! Bitte! Put me down!” he squawked, voice going higher than it currently was in panic and fright as Heavy growled warningly at Pyro.

“Leetle firebug must be gentle with leetle Doktor. Otherwise firebug will be _squashed_.” The Russian rarely threatened the masked maniac, and even now it came as a shock to everyone at just how harsh such a threat had been. It also showed off clear for everyone to see just how much more protective Heavy was of the vulnerable Medic now, as if before the incident hadn't been enough of a reminder. Pyro looked up and if it were possible their eyes must have widened beneath their mask as they nodded quickly and opened their thick gloved hands out so Medic lay in their palm.

“Mein Gott, Herr Pyro, please don’t do zhat again…” Medic groaned, one wing crumpled as the other flitted and buzzed about madly. He winced and whined, trying to reach around to smooth it out yet being unable to reach as he tried to flex and move it about to no avail. Pyro gave a mournful whine and gently lowered their fingers into the vicinity of the little wings, gripping the creased one with extreme caution and slowly starting to smooth it out again. Then a noise started up that put everyone in a state of utter shock, even the Spy. Medic was _chittering_ and _clicking_ in small noises of appreciation, adorably tiny body relaxing against the gentle movements of the Pyro’s finger and thumb that slowly fixed the damage previously done.

“Ooogh… M’head…” Scout mumbled, starting to stir from where he’d fainted to. “Oi what’s dat noise…?” he grumbled, sitting up and rubbing his head as he heard the tiny chitters and frowned deeply, eyebrows knitting together. “Hardhat, what’s dat noise?”

“The doc.”

“What?”

“That noise is the doc.”

“How is it?”

“Because it is. Now shut it.” Engineer rarely took that tone with the Boston boy, if ever at all, though now he was finding it hard to stay civil with everyone in the room. Scout rubbed his head and stood up, looking over just as Sniper was stirring from his own sleep too and seeing that what Engineer had said was indeed true. Medic was sprawled out against Pyro’s fingers chittering and clicking away, eyes half closed at the heavenly sensations against his sensitive wings as Pyro finished smoothing out his wing.

“I didn’t know the Doc could even  _make_ that kinda noise…” Scout muttered, shifting and staring as Spy coughed and broke the stunned silence.

“Anyway. Gentlemen, we all need to be careful now zhat we are all aware of zhe Medic’s… magic little secret. Zhat means no baseball indoors, _Scout_.” Spy said this pointedly, looking at the eighteen year old firmly and watching him raise his hands in surrender and nod quickly. “Et it also means zhat we are a mercenary down for battles. Unless, by any chance Medic, your Medigun was shrunken too?”

“I don’t zhink it vas, Herr Spy. Mein apologies for not grabbing it zhis time yet again.”

“I reckon I could fix somethin’ up to shrink it down fer ya.” Engi broke in, looking over at the German.

“You could?”

“Yeah. Shouldn’t be too hard I don’ think.” The Texan nodded, rubbing his chin with his mechanical hand before grinning and setting off into his workshop, already in inventor-mode.

Once Engi had left, silence fell again and everyone looked at the chittering Medic awkwardly. Then there was another noise and everyone stared again. Medic’s stomach had _growled_ loud and clearly enough that everyone had heard it.

“…oops.” Medic flushed, cheeks and ears going red in embarrassment as his wings twitched slightly while Heavy laughed softly.

“I think leetle Doktor needs feeding for first time of day.” The burly Russian laughed, Medic flitting over to him once Pyro had let go of his wing and settling in his hand with a shy smile.

“Ja, I couldn’t agree more.” The German nodded, settling in Heavy’s touch as the Russian carried him off to the Mess Hall, leaving the others, bar Spy, struck dumb at their apparent closeness and Heavy's growing affection for the afflicted Medic.

"Wha' did I miss?" Sniper yawned, stretching out and sliding off his armchair after he'd finally decided to wake. Everyone glared at him, shaking their heads with varying degrees of 'are you serious'.

"Wot?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now that the introductions to Medic's little condition are done and out of the way, time to launch into the pranking!
> 
> Brace yourselves!


	4. The Pranks Begin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The beginning of Medic's first wave of pranks. Mentions of piss and drug/alcohol hallucinations and hinted polyamory up ahead!
> 
> Have fun~!

It had taken some getting used to, Medic thought to himself, given his little condition and how much it had affected his duty as the team’s doctor. Though it hadn’t stopped him thus far and with the new support from the rest of his team he could nibble away at the giant cookie in peace knowing they’d keep him safe. The trust he held in them was something to admire even by his own standards since it was blatant to him that they didn’t quite trust the mad doctor as much. Perhaps he was getting naïve in his old age. Yes, that must be it. Ah well, it didn’t bother him any as he sat and nibbled away on the cookie in content. Everyone was glancing to him every now and then, trying to hide smirks and grins and little giggles at how _adorable_ the once-frightening German madman was behaving. Medic yawned softly and nibbled away still, getting through perhaps just over half of the cookie before someone finally spoke to him where he was perched on an upturned mug for a makeshift seat at the table.

“Doc?” Scout had mumbled, edging over a little bit curiously and leaving his dinner for a moment as his curiosity got the better of him at last.

“Ja?” Medic replied, muffled through a mouthful of cookie that made him look rather like a miniature chipmunk. How cute for a usually raging psychopath.

“Does it hurt when ya turn into... this?” Medic thought about it for a while, humming as he nibbled away. Certainly it resulted in pain after he’d turned, considering he always ended up dropping to the floor a little way, though he was yet to document whether it hurt during the transformation or not.

“Nein, not to mein knowledge anyvay. Zhere is pain vhen I fall to zhe floor, does zhat count? Probably not. Anyvay, it creates an insufferable itch just before I turn zhough, all over mein body. ” Medic admitted, nodding a little as Scout returned the action and fell quiet again.

“Doc?”

“Ja?”

“When d’ya think your curse is gonna go away?” Medic frowned slightly; he’d never actually realised he’d be stuck with this for life in the most likely case and Merasmus had been suspiciously inactive over the last few months since their last confrontation with him...

“I honestly haven’t zhought of zhat, Herr Scout, mein apologies.”

“Oh, okay.” Silence fell between the two, the Boston lad slowly shifting away again and returning to eating his own food in a rather childish manner that was just the norm with him. The only mercs brave enough to even tolerate sitting beside the eighteen year old were Pyro and Engineer, if only because Engi was the calmest and Pyro didn’t really care. However Pyro and Scout being sat next to each other more often than not resulted in miniature food fights, something everyone found rather intolerable inclusive of himself and he wasn’t exactly the tidiest eater either – always in a rush to get back to his latest little science-medicine project like a child engrossed in a game or show, eager to return back to it.

Medic hummed softly as he ploughed his way through the cookie, wings quivering here and there as the sugar washed over him in bursts that seemed to last for ages. In the months he’d had this curse, nae the year he’d had it, and he hadn’t eaten anything sugary at all. Not even once in all that time. How strange. Though now he was slowly beginning to understand why he hadn’t been allowed to have anything (courtesy of Spy and his micromanagement of Medic’s diet while in this state) as his wings buzzed and threatened to lift him from where he sat and his pupils dilated completely. Heavy had noticed the change in the little Medic’s behaviour and gave a brief frown, nudging Spy and nodding to the quivering German as Spy let out a groan.

“Who let ‘im have a cookie?” Spy demanded, looking at everyone accusingly around the table.

“I did, why?” Sniper yawned, looking up from where he was tearing into a lump of steak.

“Two words. Sugar. Rush.” Spy deadpanned, everyone soon looking to where the Medic was starting to giggle away to himself like a complete psycho. The giggles had started off innocently enough, enough to make Heavy smile a little, before he’d descended into full-blown mad laughter over _nothing_. No one had said a single word to make him laugh so much and even then such laughter had never been drawn from the Medic quite to this extent. It was starting to spook everyone, even the spook himself as the Frenchman eased the half-eaten cookie away from Medic’s grasp.

“I zhink zhat is enough now, Docteur, don’t you zhink?” Spy said, growing rather concerned as Medic’s wings finally lifted him in a rapid manner. “Docteur. Docteur. Medic. Medic!” Spy growled, trying to get his attention as the little Medi-fairy flitted about faster than anyone’s eyes could follow. He was soon a blur of red and white and flew about the table, upturning the salt shaker into Scout’s drink without him realising and piss ending up in Sniper’s coffee too. Then small tablets the German madman had found in his coat pocket found their way into Demoman’s mash potato as a dash of God-knows-what made it into Soldier’s food too. Only Heavy and Spy got away Scott-free as even poor Pyro and Engineer were on the receiving end of some ghastly pranks pulled by what had seemed to be an innocent, two and a half inch tall non-threatening fairy-type bloke. It was minutes before the Medic burned himself out, sinking down against Heavy’s hand and giggle sleepily to himself, and passed straight out against his rest. Then the effects of his little pranking spree were felt, ranging from right there and then to an hour later when everyone was relaxing again in the common room.

At the precise moment in time, Scout and Sniper had spat their drinks out in disgust and promptly showered Demoman and Soldier who were sat opposite.

“Salt?!”

“Piss?!” they exclaimed respective to each of their spiked drinks, both pulling the most sickened faces as Sniper sprinted to the bathroom to lose the contents of his stomach. If there was one thing he couldn’t stand it was someone else’s piss, let alone someone else’s piss in his _drink_. Scout wasn’t far behind him as he was screaming curses and howling in a particularly grossed-out manner at the amount of salt on his tongue, unable to leave his tongue in his mouth and thus obscuring parts of his speech. Spy sniggered and tried to hold back his laughter, Heavy chuckling too as everyone else started to laugh at their misfortune. It almost seemed too good to be true. Almost. Except later the others started to feel their own luck turn against them. 

* * *

 

Demo had been lounged on the couch, head casually on Soldier’s lap as he chugged his whiskey rather relentlessly for once. He’d gone off it for an hour while in utter concern for Medic’s safety before the revelations of his state and was now starting to feel the pull of it again particularly strongly. Which was actually rather odd, now that he thought about it in his drunken haze, since he’d never felt such a pull towards his beloved scrumpy before in such a strong manner. That in itself was strange since he’d always declared himself to be anything but an alcoholic with a whiskey-problem, as Medic himself had tried to explain to him many a time before now and failing every time. Just as he was about to pause and figure it out the whiskey called to him again and he was off, chugging bottle after bottle in but mere minutes. Never mind the fact that he had his head in Soldier’s lap, and rather contently at that, and that the American was losing his mind over it.

“DEMOMAN! GET YOUR HEAD. OUT OF MY LAP. OR SO HELP ME. BY THE NAMES OF THE PRESIDENTS OF AMERICA. I WILL SHOVE THAT BOTTLE SO FAR UP YOUR SCOTTISH ASS. IT WILL REACH THE NORTH POLE.” Soldier roared, Heavy starting to get annoyed again over how loud the American was being _again_ no matter how many times they all tried to shut him up. However all the rocket-jumper was met with was drunken, garbled speech that might have vaguely meant ‘Shut up or I’ll kiss ye’. Soldier growled, trying to move the drunkard before his eye twitched. There was an unearthly warmth in his groin, followed swiftly by a warmer damp patch spreading across his boxers and trousers.

“Soldier! Oh my god why?!” Scout screeched, having been sat on the floor playing with Pyro like two little kids, as he’d looked up and saw the wet patch that was steadily growing.

“What.” Soldier twitched, looking down at his crotch and yelling in shock. “WHY AM I PISSING IN MY PANTS LIKE A THREE YEAR OLD GIRL SCOUT ALL OF A SUDDEN?” he roared, helmet swinging about madly to the point it almost slipped right off. Engineer was bright red, struggling to not lose his mind laughing as everyone else had just lost it completely without any shame about themselves. The Soldier, the one man who kept his mind on the mission at all times lest he wished to punish himself, the one man who was so country-loving he even shocked himself, the one man who could withstand the fire of thousands of bullets and crack open skulls with but a pickaxe or shovel, had wet himself. And to some extreme degree, it would seem, judging by how much it had spread and the fact that it was starting to drip through his thick trousers. Scout screamed in horror and sprinted away, hiding behind Pyro who just stared with many a grossed noise coming from the gas mask. The commotion caused by Scout alone had been enough to wake the almost-comatose Demo, the man sliding off the couch with a grunt and hiccupping blearily.

“Oi...! Wha’sa goin’ on…?” he mumbled, looking around and hiccupping before chugging his whiskey again. Then he’d gone still. Very still. So very, very still. His pupils dilated and he slowly started to twitch and giggle, hiccupping and hallucinating it would seem as Medic’s cruel prank on the drunkard worked a charm and a nightmare for the Scottish man. His eyes darted around wildly, body otherwise not moving an inch, and soon fixed on a certain point. Namely on the drowsy face of the Sniper who was up well past his own bedtime (it was 9 o’clock). His eyes widened as he hiccupped and watched all details of reality melt away into a nightmarish form of who-knows-what with sharpened teeth, a black uniform on and blood covering every single inch of his body. A wild, wicked grin plastered itself to the unrecognisable Sniper’s face and a snake-like tongue slithered out and tasted the air. A dark laugh pierced Demo’s mind, paralysing him with fear over the Aussie’s new appearance, and almost made him soil himself. The new, dark Sniper slowly stood and moved over towards the Scottish cyclops, inducing more panic in him as he found himself unable to move in the face of this new terror. How was no one else reacting to this?! How was no one stepping in, stopping this madman’s giant kukri from ripping his face off?! How was no one helping?! Demoman tried to move his mouth into screaming for help, wheezing noises being the only thing to pass dry, cracked lips as he tried to writhe and move in sheer terror away from this blood-soaked monstrosity. His body wouldn’t respond. Nothing would respond. His brain was in panic mode and wheezing wails left him, oxygen seeming to leave his body. The demonic Sniper towered above him, kneeling after a moment and hand gripping his neck tightly. His mouth moved but no distinguishable words came out, only that snake-like tongue again that flickered and tasted Demoman’s _face_ with its grossly forked tip.

Sniper frowned as he felt Demo’s neck, checking his pulse and looking around as the demolitions expert flailed weakly and almost rigidly. Everyone was watching in concern, laughter having worn right off after Soldier had sprinted to his room in shame and the second Demoman was having some kind of fit.

“I can’t figure out wot’s wrong with him, mates… There’s nothin’ in the bottle left that would suggest somethin’s happened to his booze…” Sniper said finally, looking back at the panicked Demo and standing. “Maybe the Doc’ll know…” Speaking of the Medic, where was he? Wouldn’t he be here revelling in what he would undoubtedly deem to be hilarity of the highest, most insane degr- oh no that was right, Heavy had put him to bed in a little matchbox in his room. Darn. The Australian sharpshooter looked around the room and shook his head, knowing full well no one here had any medical expertise aside from himself having spent so much time around Medic either in the lab or just in general. He wasn’t ever to admit he reserved feelings for both the German and the Spook, since his kinda sexuality wasn’t exactly much appreciated where he was from and he wasn’t about to intimidate or scare away either of the other Support Class mercs. No, he valued their kindness and insistent friendship almost too much than was healthy for him, though he’d never admit such a thing to either since he was always the most distant, the anti-social one. Those kinds of assumptions suited him just fine, but this was one time where he craved Medic’s presence now if only out of fear for Demo’s almost seizure-like fit beneath him.

This one time, he pined for that mad German. This one time, he honestly felt truly helpless.


	5. Shenanigans

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not updating yesterday! It wasn't such a great day for me and as much as I managed to write, it wasn't enough and I had to revise it today instead. But hey, best to give you all a somewhat decent chapter instead of a half-completed one, eh?
> 
> Enjoy!

For a long time Sniper had felt some kind of pull towards the German doctor, a long, long time. Perhaps even since the first time he’d laid eyes upon him from his nest, watching that madman stalk out onto the battlefield and slaughter every last enemy that dared confront him. It had been mesmerising, to put it plainly, and Sniper daren’t admit to anyone how much it had turned him on. To see one man inflict that much damage and fear into an entire enemy team… he was like a _god_. More often than not, Medic even referred to himself as a god, laughing as he’d made titans out of mere mortals and war machines out of weedy, pathetic idiots. Sniper himself had to agree with Medic on that, especially after his first über heart transplant and how much better he felt afterwards. Though there was no denying it, the Aussie couldn’t help but feel ignored and saddened every time Medic neglected to charge him. He’d even use such a gravelly tone to try and impress him, but the only answer he ever received was “Later” or “You’re always too far away from zhe battles to be of any use”. He couldn’t lie, it _hurt_. More than bullets, more than backstabs, more than headshots from enemy Snipers. It hurt so damned much and still Sniper found himself pining after both Medic and the spook. Some days he found himself snoozing away in his nest, gun propped by his side or Huntsman against a crate as he dreamed the days away because they’d get so dull and boring when he wasn’t required. Never mind that he offered crucial covering fire, never mind that he had hawk-like eyes and could spot an enemy Spy a mile away, never mind the amount of times he’d saved Medic’s arse from a Pyro or a concealed spook. Hell, he’d even taken down numerous Scouts that tried to take out the mad German and what did he get for it? Nothing. Not even a ‘thank you’. Yet he still held out hope for himself and his chances with either Spy or Medic, even in spite of the fact that Heavy was closing in fast on his doctor.

Sniper blinked, lost in his thoughts _again_ as Demo writhed still beneath him. It was becoming a bad habit of his, spacing out at crucial moments, and he was kicking himself every time he realised it had happened.

“Oh _shit_.” Sniper cursed to himself, blinking again and snapping himself out of it quickly as he tried to get Demo back to some kind of consciousness again. “Bloody hell you idiot, wake up!” he growled, standing and situating Engineer in charge as he stormed off to get the Medic regardless of Heavy’s distress and absolute determination to stop the scrawny sharpshooter.

“Nyet! Tiny leetle man will not wake Doktor!” Heavy growled, following Sniper as the Australian darted past the slow and bulky Russian.

“Oh yeah? An’ who’s gonna stop me? Yer precious KPD, Commie?” Sniper snarled back at him before staring at the Heavy’s quick change in expression. Ooh he’d cocked up now. Ooh he was so in for it. “Oh… bollocks… No, wait, Heavy mate! I didn’t mean it! I been spendin’ too much time ‘round Soldier!” Sniper panicked, eyes wide and hands up in surrender as he tried to apologise amidst Heavy’s growing rage, backing away slowly as Heavy advanced upon him. “Oh piss! I’m sorry I didn’t mean it!” It was too late, the damage had been done and Sniper was nimble to turn on his heel and sprint for his _life_ down the corridors of the fort.

“I DIDN’T MEAN IT!”

“LEETLE SNIPER WILL PAY FOR BRASH WORDS! HEAVY WILL KILL LEETLE SNIPER!”

“I DIDN’T MEAN IT I’M SORRY! I’M SORRY! OH PISS I AM SORRY!” Sniper screamed almost in terror, sprinting faster and faster and rounding every corner he could to try and get away. Damn, that Heavy was fast when he was pissed! Heavy was shouting and bellowing in furious Russian, the terrified Australian sprinting straight past Soldier who had flattened himself against the wall in his clean clothes.

“NO RUNNING IN _MY_ BASE!” Soldier roared after them, soon taking up to chasing them down too in a manner that, in spite of the circumstances, might have appeared comical any other time.

 _*I regret everything! Why did I say that?! Damn you Soldier!*_ Sniper thought furiously to himself, panting heavily now as adrenalin was the only thing keeping him running and not ending up a human pretzel at the hands of the supremely angered Russian. His eyes caught the glint of the always-pristine Medbay doors up ahead, a grin flashing across his face for but a moment as he pushed himself further ahead and burst in, startling the sleeping Medic.

“SAVE ME FROM YOUR PISSED OFF BOYFRIEND OH MY GOD!” Sniper had screamed without a second thought, vaulting over one of the surgery tables and completely terrified as Medic was up and flitting about in seconds in panic, confused and sleepy.

“Vhat zhe hell is going on?!” Medic snapped, trying to get his drowsy mind around it before Heavy charged in, followed by Soldier who was immediately yelling and shouting about rules and regulations of standard fortress safety. “ALRIGHT ZHAT IS QUITE ENOUGH FROM ALL OF YOU!” Medic roared, voice amplifying from its usual tiny range to almost deafeningly loud amidst his own annoyance at such a disturbance. Sniper, Heavy and Soldier all immediately fell silent in the face of a tiny angry German, all still finding him actually rather frightening when like this. If there was one unspoken rule that _everyone_ abided by it was that you do not, under any circumstances, no matter the importance of the event, wake Medic from his beauty sleep. And Sniper had just done exactly that.

“Now I vant to know exactly vhat is going on.” Medic snarled, wings glowing red from his anger, “Und VIZHOUT, Herr Soldier, any shouting! Am I clear?!” They all gave quick nods, all shaking a little from a variation of adrenalin, fear and anger. Medic turned to Sniper first, growling and not in the mood for this in spite of his miniature size, and flitted over to him until he was right in front of his nose.

“Explain.” Sniper was quick to, keeping it short and to the point with what happened with Demoman and then reluctantly including what he’d said to Heavy to aggravate him so much. He shifted where he stood, growing nervous as Soldier snorted and held in laughs while Heavy growled and gave threatening glares and snorts like an agitated rhinoceros about to charge. Medic pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed.

“Dummkopf! Vhy did you say zhat to Heavy?” Medic groaned, rubbing his face with a small gloved hand.

“I… I didn’ mean tah, Doc… I been spendin’ too much time round Soldier an’ hearin’ how he talks… God knows I didn’ mean it when I said it, Doc…” Sniper mumbled, knowing just how deep in the shit he was now. He was digging himself an early grave and no one was offering a ladder to help him out. He was so going to go through an out-of-battle Respawn by the time Heavy got his hands on him.

“I’d figured judging by how much you’d screamed und by how fast you must have run to get here.” Medic said, somewhat amused though highly unimpressed as Heavy started up. Medic raised his hand, glaring. “Zhat’s enough, mein freund. I’ve heard enough about zhis situation. I’ve known Herr Sniper for a long time und I vill believe him on zhis one. Now, Herr Soldier, vhat in Gott’s name vere you doing screaming und yelling all zhe vay down zhe corridor behind zhem?”

“I was running after them because they were running in a confined space! I do not approve of running in confined spaces! I stated this and made it abundantly clear in the manual I provided of the safety rules and regulations of standard mercenary-fortress safety!” Soldier said, standing to attention upon being addressed. Medic held his hand up to silence him and his ranting, sighing and nodding.

“Zhat vas razher reckless und ironic of you, Herr, since you vere also running.” Soldier’s eyes tripled in size as he found it to be inexplicably and inexcusably true. In but seconds he was declaring about how he must punish himself by running fifty laps around Teufort regardless of the current time of _midnight_. The German let the patriot get on with it, watching him march outside before speaking to Heavy and Sniper directly.

“If I find zhat eizher of you end up doing zhis again, especially vhen I run zhe risk of being trampled or deafened, zhen I vill personally ensure zhat neizher of you sleep again for a monzh. I vill remove your eyelids und stitch your penis-skin to your eyes instead, am I abundantly clear?” he said, glaring now as Heavy and Sniper shifted and nodded quickly. “Gutt. Now apologise to each ozher.”

“Sorry mate…”

“Da, Heavy is sorry for threatening leetle man.” They both ground out, Sniper sighing and moping a little as Heavy left. There was a reason why he’d made it his mission to get to Medic in the first place and he couldn’t quite remember why. He wracked his brain as he stood in the doorway, frowning as Medic stared.

“Everyzhing alright, mein freund?” Medic asked, cocking his head to the side as he flitted over just as Sniper whipped around.

“Shit! Demo’s havin’ a seizure! That’s why I ran ‘ere! C’mon!” Sniper yelped, eyes wide as he grabbed Medic carefully and sprinted back down the maze of corridors and burst into the common room again where Engi had doused Demoman with cold water. Sure enough, the Scotsman was wide awake and shaking in what seemed to be unadulterated fear which in itself was enough to set Sniper’s and Medic’s nerves on edge.

“Herr Demo? Vhat happened?” Medic frowned as he flitted over and ran a quick analysis as best as his tiny size could while Demo was wrapped in towels and blankets.

“Ach… I… I was… Ooh I dunno laddie, I cannae remember!” Demo coughed a little, eye wide as he dripped from the ice cold water. “Nice thinkin’ on yer part Engi!” he nodded, Medic giving a soft noise of agreement as he frowned.

“Herr Sniper told me you vere having a fit. Can you recall anyzhing from it?”

“Well… only… oh crappin’ hell nah… ooh me mam always said tha’ drugs and scrumpy didnae mix!” Demo trembled, coughing again as Medic soon realised what had happened and giggled slightly. “Wot’re ye laughin’ at boyo?” he demanded, Medic flitting back and laughing again.

“Oh, I forgot zhat I added some tablets of mein to your mash potato at dinner!” Medic giggled, landing on Sniper’s shoulder as he laughed. “Zhey vere hallucination-provoking!” he sniggered, rather childishly at that, “Und I also added some powder to Soldier’s food to make him vet himself!” he laughed, falling backwards onto Sniper’s shoulder and losing it completely.

“Ye pranked us?!” Demo squawked, eye going wide as he stared in complete bemusement.

“Ja! Und it vould seem I got you bozh razher gutt!” Medic snorted, wings quivering as he was in hysterics. After a while, Scout and Pyro were giggling too as well as Engineer, Spy and Sniper. The only one that wasn’t amused was Demo as he was already swearing and staggering to his feet, Soldier absent from the scene and remaining oblivious due to his ‘punishment’. But then his eye laid sight upon Sniper who was almost doubled over in hysterics too. The Scotsman’s body froze up entirely, eye widening further in terror.

“BLOODY DEVIL!!” he suddenly screamed, making Sniper jump at the accusation.

“You bloody wot mate?!”

“YER THE BLOODY DEVIL! ALL I SAW IN THA’ NIGHTMARE WUS YER DEMON GRIN AN’ YER BLEEDIN' BLOODY FACE! YE KILLED MEH!” Demo screeched, Medic wincing at how loud everything was getting as Sniper took a step forward only for Demo to flinch away with a whimper.

“Crikey mate, how strong were them hallucinogenic things ya gave ‘im?”

“Strong enough to incite such a reaction I vould assume. Congratulations, Herr Sniper, zhe drunkard is afraid of you now.” Medic smirked, giggling almost as everyone stared at the mini madman. However little did they realise, this was just the first wave of many of a prank war to last an entire week.


	6. Bubble Sea

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ach! Again for not updating, I am sorry! Writers block, artist's block, everything block hath rendered me useless. T~T Trying to get back on track with this fic but I'm running out of steam. I also apologise for how short it seems to be. If you guys have any ideas, comment them and I'll log them for future chapters!
> 
> Enjoy! :)

Medic was growing increasingly harder to handle, it would seem, as someone of the RED team was insistent on giving him entire sugar cubes and sugary treats at any one time though the identity was still a mystery among the bemused team. They’d woken up one morning to find all the corridors filled to the brim with a sea of foamy bubbles that were tinged a slight pink from the amount of washing up liquid and soap applied to make such an almost formidable obstruction. Soldier had almost immediately lost his mind, climbing the rafters that were the only safe place from the ‘monster of bubbles and washing substances from the seventh dimension of hell’ and utilising them to move around as the American flatly refused to even dip a booted toe into the mass. Pyro was rather excited by this development of an impromptu bubble pit, as was Scout, and soon the two of them were flailing and jumping and rolling around amidst the foam together like children. Heavy was really the only mercenary there that was tall enough to not be completely swallowed by the white mass that jiggled with everyone’s movements and soon had become a sort of life-raft for those shorter than him, walking around with Sniper on one shoulder and Engineer on the other as Spy was held in one of the Russian’s giant hands as if on a throne. Demoman was still out cold from sedatives having to be applied to calm him down after he’d gone on a rant and a rave at Sniper over the nightmare-Sniper he’d seen, barely stirring from the commotion outside his quarters. The only merc that wasn’t present was the little doctor of doom himself, which everyone found all the more stranger, never mind the sea of foam surrounding them on all sides.

“So… Anyone know where the doc is?” Engi soon asked, yawning and stretching as he was still in his pyjamas while Sniper just shrugged and leaned against Heavy’s head.

“No idea mate, last I saw of ‘im he was flyin’ back to his room tah get some sleep.”

“Well I don’t know about you zhree but I ‘eard some commotion in zhe night coming from zhe Medic’s quarters. I can’t ‘elp but wonder whezher ‘e is zhe one to blame for zhis mess.”

“I reckon it mighta been him. ‘Sides, we were all sleepin’ like my ol’ dog through a thunderstorm so it couldn’t have been any of us.”

“Spy really thinks leetle Doktor is behind Bubble Sea?”

“Oui, fatman, I do.”

They all lapsed into silence, all thinking away quietly and in slight concern at the aforementioned German not being seen this morning. He was usually such an early riser and yet there was no sign of him. Then Pyro made a muffled noise of ‘look at this!’, drawing the curious attentions of everyone else as Heavy waded over to the fire-lover.

“Wot is it mate? Wot ya found?” Sniper said as he slid down off Heavy’s shoulder and dumping himself into the sea of foam to get closer. Pyro looked up and must have been beaming from ear to ear beneath their mask as they pointed to a little bubble that was situated atop Scout’s bed-hair head. All eyes turned to see a rather peculiar sight regardless of the previous day’s antics; Medic was curled up in the bubble, fast asleep and barely making a sound as the bubble floated a little away from Scout’s head and over to the awestruck mercenaries.

“What…?” Spy breathed, having never seen anything like this in all the time he’d known of Medic’s curse as the bubble slowly settled down into Sniper’s outstretched hands. The Australian looked up at Spy with a grin full of childish wonder.

“Crikey…” he breathed, watching Medic sleep within the bubble that almost felt too firm for a bubble. “This thing shoulda popped ‘fore now, right? There’s no way it’s a real bubble.”

“Looks a li’l thicker than a standard bubble.” Engi remarked curiously, humming and stroking his chin as Sniper held the bubble in his hands with growing caution. “An’ I wanna know how he got in there in th’ firs’ place.” The Texan hummed, smirking a little as Medic started to stir sleepily and yawned, stretching out and then finally popping the bubble before dropping into Sniper’s waiting hands.

“Hm…? Vha…?” he mumbled, rubbing his eyes sleepily as he sprawled over in Sniper’s warm hands much to the sharpshooter’s quiet delight. It was almost no secret at this point to at least the Spy that Sniper reserved deep feelings for the other members of the Support class and it almost flattered the Frenchman as he watched the Aussie carefully handle Medic before gesturing for Heavy to seat him on his shoulder again so as to keep Medic drowning in the bubble sea. Heavy nodded and carefully situated Sniper on his broad shoulder again, wary of how close Sniper was trying to get to the German in the emotional sense at least and it didn’t settle with him at all. The Russian had always been the closest to the German, not this smarmy little bastard who thought he could just worm his way in and try to take his Doktor away! He hadn’t _earned_ his place by Medic’s side, not at all. Especially not to the standards at which Heavy had earned it, always providing cover for Medic, always being his walking meat shield, always protecting him. Heavy had earned his loyal place by Medic’s side and as much as it pained him that Medic remained oblivious to his affection, he wasn’t going to give up such a valued rank, least of all to such a scrawny little moron like Sniper. That Australian must think he’s hot stuff, trying to come after his Doktor like that and especially after the stunt he’d pulled by having the audacity to call Heavy Medic’s boyfriend even though it may as well have been true. _Nyet_ , Heavy couldn’t allow Sniper to try and force his way between himself and Medic, he just couldn’t allow it. Not after all he’d done to even get the otherwise-oblivious doctor to even spare him a glance or a smile.

“Good mornin’ to you too, Doc.” Sniper grinned, holding the Medi-fairy carefully as Medic’s stomach almost immediately growled away. “Someone’s hungry, eh?”

“Ja, ja…” Medic muttered, yawning and stretching out before seeing all the bubbles and giggling to himself. “Seems like mein plan vorked a charm!” he laughed, the others unable to help from laughing with him at their new predicament. With all the new pranks the old man was getting up to they’d all just learned somehow to just go along with it and take each one as they came regardless of how much sometimes it screwed them over.

“Well, it adds a nice touch to zhe place I must say.” Spy chuckled, smiling amiably as Heavy grinned and carried them all into the Mess Hall, watching Sniper help Medic get some food for the hour.

“So wot’s the plan today mates?” he asked as Engineer shrugged once let off of Heavy’s shoulder.

“I ain’ got no idea boy, but I do know that th’ Doc’s Medigun is all mini an’ ready to go.” The Texan smiled, Medic’s eyes going wide in amazement as he was presented with the tiny Medigun that was precisely his size.

“Oh mein Gott! You actually managed to shrink it!” he gasped, eyes shimmering happily as he hooked it to his back, careful of his wings, and fiddled with it a bit until it was comfortable. “Sniper, let me stab your hand vizh zhe bonesaw.” He demanded, flitting over to the Australian that stared.

“Wot.”

“Just let me! I need to see if zhe Medigun actually vorks!” Medic whined, soon pricking Sniper’s thumb with the saw and watching the blood ooze out slowly in a droplet that was perhaps the size of his own head. He grinned and soon fired the Kritzkrieg at Sniper’s thumb, watching the red vapour envelop the wound and heal it over much faster than it ever had before.

“Crikey, how’s it doin’ that at such a tiny size?” Sniper was stunned as Medic grinned and giggled away like a mini madman, flitting about in small loops as he hugged his precious Medigun close to him in excitement.

“Zhis is wunderbar! Danke Engineer!” Medic beamed, Engi chuckling and shaking his head.

“Ah s’nothin’…” he smiled, always modest amongst his friends when he did such a kind thing for them. As much as he liked being thanked, he was more for just helping them and seeing the joyous reactions they all gave. It warmed his heart and brightened his days considerably. But then came something over the base speakers to shatter all of that.

_“Match begins in thirty minutes!”_


	7. Battle Fairy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh. My. God. I am so sorry for not updating!! D: Muse went, crap happened and I just wasn't even in the mood for it! I am so terribly sorry! Thank you all for the kudos and such and I'll try and ease into a more set routine of updating as best I can!
> 
> Enjoy!

“Oh she can’t be serious!” Scout complained once he’d waded his way to the changing rooms where everyone else had gathered upon the orders being given out across the fortress-wide speaker system. Medic was wringing his hands rather nervously as he looked up at the loudmouthed Bostonian jogging in and quickly getting changed into his ‘uniform’, wings flitting here and there from where he was sat atop Heavy’s head. If he stepped, or rather flew, out there he’d be taken down for certain! Then again he was surely small enough for a bullet or several to miss him, not to mention how fast he could move now…

“What is plan for leetle doktor?” Heavy frowned, asking the question that was on everyone’s minds and earning looks of concern directed at the little Medi-fairy sat on his head.

“If he goes out there he’s gonna get killed.” Engi deadpanned, sighing as he hauled up his toolbox. “But if he stays here we’re a man an’ a Medic down.” It was an ultimatum now: go out there and likely die horrifically with a slim chance of respawning since his DNA in this form wasn’t logged into the system, or stay in here and be virtually useless. The RED team desperately needed a Medic at all times with how much they would throw themselves into the fray, always content to throw bodies at the enemy BLU team until they cracked and eventually gave in and gave up. However now that Medic was two and half inches tall and permanently ran the risk of being stepped on they had lost their defining factor of their victory streaks. They’d lost the man that decided who lived and who died, who got them all through every single battle every single time without fail, who was perhaps the most valiant and heroic among them all and he was _useless_. Even with his miniaturised Medigun!

“What if he were to stay in someone’s pocket? Like Heavy’s or Soldier’s?” Scout suggested with a frown plastering his face for once, stunning some of them quietly at how much he seemed to care about ‘the demon Medic’ now.

“Are ye dumb as a brick laddie?? He’d be blast outta there faster than he could deploy an übercharge!” Demo snorted, shaking his head and waving his whiskey bottle about – it would seem he was already plastered for the day as he swayed a little and had to use the lockers to stay upright. Medic sighed and shook his head too.

“Vhile Herr Scout has a gutt idea, Herr Demo is also correct. If I am to stay on one person like zhat in a place of utter risk, I could be killed easily. Und if a bullet doesn’t get me zhe fall of mein dead… _carrier_ vould kill me for certain.” He sighed, applying logic. “Und considering zhat zhe Respawn doesn’t recognise me in zhis form, I could be lost in it for a vhile at least und it also has zhe chance of overwriting mein DNA stored in zhere zhat isn’t zhe fairy DNA from zhis curse.” He blinked, looking at all the confused expressions before rolling his eyes.

“He means that if he dies, the past versions of him that ain’t a fairy are likely to get overwritten. Meanin’ that he’ll likely be stuck as a fairy either forever or ‘til the Respawn gets fixed and uses a previous version that might not have been overwritten.” Engi cut in, shaking his head and sighing as everyone made an ‘ohh’ noise and finally seemed to understand.

“But non-compliance means termination und I vill be out of a job.” Medic tutted, groaning and starting to get irritated with how useless he was becoming now. Then Sniper finally spoke after a long silence, moving from his usual spot in the shadows.

“Wot if he sat in m’roost with me? It’s always quiet up there except fer the Spooks that get up there sometimes. Even if I was got by a Spy he could hide behind the crates easily and stay outta sight.” Sniper suggested quietly, everyone looking at him curiously. The Australian assassin had never really been one for suggesting things that deviated from their original battle plans, more content to just go along with it and make decisions if anything changed in the heat of the moment. In fact, some of them found it rather odd that he was getting involved in the discussion at _all_ , he was usually rather anti-social and preferred isolation as opposed to being around the others. Of course, with the revelations of Medic’s new condition within the last few days that had changed rather considerably since he was more than happy to get involved and assist Medic where it was required.

“Et you are certain you can keep ‘im safe?” Spy frowned, raising a brow curiously as he watched the sharpshooter nod firmly.

“Yeah. I got a keen eye an’ I’m sure he can keep an ear out fer spooks nearby.”

“Hm… Medic? What do you zhink of zhis?”

“I zhink, in all honesty Herr Spy, it could vork razher vell.” Medic nodded in agreement, smiling at the suggestion as he pat Heavy’s head and flitted over to seat himself on Sniper’s hat. “It also reduces zhe risk of me being stood on too, not to mention I vouldn’t be seen so much from zhe roost.”

“Alright then it’s settled. Medic, you go with Sniper then and for god’s sake _stay_ with Sniper. Everyone else, regular places.” Engineer grinned, nodding as he hauled his toolbox up over his shoulder. “Let’s go!”

_“Start fighting now!”_

* * *

 

It was interesting, Medic couldn’t lie about that, to see Sniper at work and only Sniper at work for the first time without having to worry about literally everyone else and their health situations and who he was übering next and where his charge was and-

“Oi doc, ya still there right?” Sniper asked quietly, looking up from his scope towards where Medic had sat himself on the lid of an empty jarate jar.

“Hm? Oh, ja, I’m here.” Medic answered distractedly, wings quivering as he held onto his tiny bonesaw and kept watch every now and then on the empty roost. “Just zhinking about zhings.”

“Care to share? Or is it all private stuff?”

“Vell, not so much _private_ just… distracting.” He finally settled on, “It vould distract you from your vork no doubt. Spy at our Engineer, zhree o’clock.” Medic warned, watching Sniper grunt and take care of the backstabber before the Texan could suffer.

“Cheers mate.” Sniper nodded, taking a swig from his coffee mug before returning to sniping. “Y’know, its good havin’ someone else up here other than myself fer once. Even if it is only temporary.”

“Ja?”

“Yeh.”

Silence lapsed again between the two Support class mercenaries, Medic swallowing almost nervously it felt like as he surveyed the quiet room again before turning back and watching the battlefield. For some reason his heart was pounding in his chest like a bass drum and he was almost certain Sniper could hear it over the top of the incredibly loud gunshots, wings quivering. Why was his heart beating so fast?! The German couldn’t fathom it as he looked at Sniper again quietly, watching him barely move and taking in the details of his face. Tanned skin, stubble-covered chin, eyes that moved slowly from target to target like a hawk moving in on its prey. Barely a muscle twitched in his face before **_BANG!!_** He’d fired and relished with a bloodthirsty grin in watching another successful headshot splatter the enemy’s grey matter across the walls.

“Thanks fer standin’ still wanker.” He snorted, chugging the last of his coffee before pulling a face. “Ah shite. Doc, can ya budge a moment? I gotta piss.” He groaned, Medic pulling a disgusted look and flitting up to get well away from his perch. “Cheers mate.” Medic rolled his eyes, flushing as he turned away from Sniper and pulling another grossed expression at the sound of him pissing. It was a little while before Sniper sat down again, grinning and a full jar of jarate beside him now.

“Zhat, mein freund, is disgusting.”

“Nah mate, that’s jarate.” Sniper grinned cheekily, chuckling as Medic made a gross noise before he heard a floorboard creak. The Australian’s ear pricked a little like a dog’s would and he grabbed his kukri, turning sharply and seeing a Spy uncloak and growl. “Medic, hide!” He yelped as he engaged with the enemy Spy, knives being slashed at one another as Medic flitted high above their heads and dived down behind some crates unbeknownst to the BLU Spy. After a minute of scuffling and fighting and insults being spat, the Spy came out on top and drove his knife through Sniper’s head before stabbing him repeatedly in the chest in perhaps the most violent display of aggression the German had ever seen in his life. He felt sick just watching the blood spray from Sniper’s body, Spy eventually tossing the dying man down and smirking – he knew his work was done here and wasted no time in stalking off, forgetting all about the watching fairy entirely.

“Sniper!” Medic cried after a moment, flitting over with his mini Medigun in hand to the dying bloke in panic. “Herr Sniper!” he shouted again, panting and landing on his chest as he switched the Medigun on and could only hope for the best that it would work its tiny magic. “Bitte… bitte…!” he panted, not knowing why he felt such… such… sadness and despair of all things towards someone he barely knew. Perhaps it was because he could have prevented it, he could have healed him as he was fighting! But no! He was stuck as a fairy! A tiny, two and a half inch fairy! Medic felt a sob pass his lips as his eyes welled up with tears, small body shaking as Sniper was giving ragged breaths now, slowly raising a hand and pressing a weak bloodied finger to Medic’s lips.

“It’s… alright mate… the Respawn’s got me…” Sniper panted, struggling to get air into his destroyed lungs as he coughed blood up and felt his eyes glaze. Medic shook his head, tears streaming down his cheeks now as he held onto Sniper’s finger.

“Nein… nein bitte… I can help… I can heal you…!” Medic cried, shaking and giving soft, breathless sobs in what felt like shock of all things. Sniper shook his head again, breathing finally slowing to a stop and hand falling onto his chest beside Medic. The German paled, shaking as he tried to wake him up again before just throwing his Medigun aside.

“NEIN!” he yelled in frustration at his own uselessness, laying on Sniper’s chest before the body disintegrated and was snatched up by the Respawn, crying into the floor and feeling utterly alone and vulnerable now. He had done nothing to help, all he had done was hide like a coward and it had _hurt_ to see someone, anyone, struggle alone like that in a skirmish with an enemy while all he could do was sit and _watch_ of all things! He had never been so worthless in his life! He was a German doctor that had made gods out of mortals! He had the best reputation there was, how can he have failed so badly where he was needed the most?! Oh right, of course, his damned _mouth_ that cost him his dignity about a year ago because of that cursed wizard. Medic gave a soft whimper, eyes closing as he heard footsteps stomping closer and closer to him but he didn’t care anymore. He didn’t care if he was stood on or crushed or destroyed by an enemy. He just didn’t care if his DNA was overwritten, he just wanted to go _home_ for once. He just wanted Sniper to be okay, he just wanted to sleep, and he just wanted a lot of things but knew he’d never get them. The footsteps drew ever closer but he didn’t care for it, giving a soft sob and crying himself almost unconscious it felt though he was still aware of his surroundings somewhat.

At that precise moment, Medic just wanted to _die_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now, if any of you guys have any ideas for future chapters or events, please comment them as they will be much appreciated!
> 
> Also, comments can have a little vote for which ship should be shipped - Heavy/Medic, Sniper/Medic or Sniper/Medic/Spy! The most comments for any ship wins and will be implemented into the story! Timespan for this vote is from now until the next update though if that's too close together then I'll extend it for another update or two depending on what feedback there is! If there is no feedback, then no ships! :)


	8. Saviour

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Minor gore and a lot of Scooty-swearing up ahead! But nevertheless!
> 
> Enjoy! :)

Sniper’s stomach churned as he was Respawned, coughing and swaying at just how _vicious_ it had been to be brought back from the dead. The darkness was extremely slow to dissipate from his eyes, making him have to rub them a couple of times as the sharpshooter’s knees went weak. He slumped against one of the lockers of the Respawn room and felt a distinct tremor pass through his frame and a nagging in the back of his mind; he’d forgotten something and it was starting to get on his nerves. Sniper’s body felt so much heavier, clumsier and even sluggish as he stumbled slightly from his first attempt to move his legs. He took a few breaths to steady himself, to clear his head a little before stepping out of the room. Then he remembered. Oh _shit._ He’d forgotten the Medic! Sniper geared his legs into action, taking off at a sprint towards his roost in panic. He’d left the Doc up there without anyone to protect his little fairy arse! How could he do such a thing? Well, then again he supposed it wasn't  _entirely_ his fault that that had happened in the first place, since he wasn't even distracted. Maybe he was losing his touch as a melee fighter... Damn.

“Move it! Outta the way!” Sniper bellowed as he ran, vaulting over dispensers that had been placed and sentries that beeped away as he sprinted faster than he’d ever had before. He needed to get back to the Doc, it was a literal matter of life or death for him and if Sniper didn’t hurry the cockin’ hell up he was gonna be on the receiving end of all kinds of hell from seven, very pissed off mercenaries for allowing their Medic to die!

Finally, he burst into the roost, passing a decapitated BLU Spy on the way that had a rather large dent in his skull that was presumably from a baseball bat, and saw the Scout already in there, picking up the tiny fairy that was… was… _crying?!_ The Aussie stared in confusion, panting and lungs heaving as Scout turned and stared with wide, rather afraid-looking eyes.

“You left him in ‘ere by hisself?!” Scout squawked, Medic sobbing and seeming to be in a state of total shock as the sharpshooter could only stare gormlessly as his previous life’s body disintegrated.

“Well I didn’t ruddy-well mean to!” Sniper finally snapped back, hearing the Medi-fairy gasp and look up in what could only have been described as utter relief. The Australian geared himself into walking over and was immediately met with soft cries of relief as Medic flitted over and clutched his cheek, virtually traumatising Scout with such strange behaviour. “Doc? Doc, it’s alright mate, I’m right ‘ere.” Sniper sighed, trying to soothe the distraught German in a manner he never thought he’d ever have to in his entire life. Medic sniffed and tried hard to calm himself down, wings flitting rapidly and keeping him in the air as he just hugged Sniper’s cheek firmly.

“You… I zhought… I zhought you vere… permanently…” Medic trembled, virtually hyperventilating now as he made multiple attempts to regain his composure. Scout frowned, scratching his head a little bit.

“Well he couldn’t be perma-dead, Doc, you said yaself that it were impossible.” He put in, watching the Medic sniff and slide down Sniper’s cheek before settling on his shoulder.

“Vell… In zheory it is impossible… zhe Respawn hasn’t failed us zhusfar but zhat isn’t to say… zhat… zhat…” he lost it again, hiding his tear-stained face in his gloved hands as he gave small sobs here and there. “I just couldn’t do anyzhing to help…! I vas useless! Und I have never been useless in mein entire life like zhat!” the miniature German cried, coughing in almost hysteria. Scout and Sniper exchanged looks, both rather uneasy with just the sheer level of distress the doctor was in at a simple death that, now that they thought about it, yeah he could have actually prevented.

“Doc, it weren’t yer fault mate…” Sniper sighed a little, carefully scooping him up into his hands and watching Medic tumble about a little and muttering an apology. “Yeah ya probably coulda stopped it if you were ya normal size an’ stuff. But y’ain’t ya normal size, are ya? So I don’ exactly hate ya fer it to be honest, mate.” Sniper hummed gently, watching the red-cheeked Medic look up and sniff.

“You… You don’t?” he hiccupped, entire small body jolting with the force of it. Sniper smiled and shook his head, chuckling softly.

“Nah! Why would I, eh? Yeh I died, so wot? Blokes die all the time out there an’ death don’ really faze me anymore.”

“But… I could have helped… I could have done _somezhing_ ozher zhan just… just… be completely useless!”

“Nah mate, ya did as I said an’ hide so ya wouldn’t get killed. Roight now, yer our number one priority in battles, never mind the ruddy intelligence.” Sniper said firmly, Medic flushing a little around his ears at the authority in his tone as well as the fact that he was their _priority_. All of them. Even those that never so much as greeted him in the mornings or rarely sought out medical help. He _was_ appreciated, it felt like, and damn did it feel good to know such a thing. Sniper gently ran a finger along his back before moving it to his cheeks, carefully wiping his tears away with a slight smile on his face. The tiny German felt himself grow warmer under his collar, wings flitting here and there shyly as he managed a watery smile.

“Danke…” Medic mumbled, smiling as he dared hug Sniper’s finger and allowed his body to just relax finally. Then there was a rocket that was fired straight into the roost, startling all of them and throwing them to various places: Scout was thrown into the crates, cracking a rib or three from the impact and shattering the boxes themselves, while Sniper and Medic were flung into the furthest wall as shrapnel exploded and cut them up in several places. It took a while for the ringing to leave any of their ears, Medic’s tiny body going into shock from the impact against the wall that had crushed both wings almost beyond any recognisable state and had broken his arm for certain in spite of the marginally softer landing Sniper’s hand had provided for him. The German wheezed and was shaking uncontrollably as Sniper groaned and slumped onto the floor, panting a little and holding Medic close to his heavily lacerated chest.

“Chris’ sake not again…” he groaned, rolling onto his side and looking down at the battered fairy with growing concern. “Doc…? Doc, can ya hear me?” he mumbled, blood starting to collect in his mouth from where he’d bitten his tongue and cheek. Scout managed to pick his splintered backside up, whimpering at the pain and daring to call for Medic’s help as he pulled out several rather large splinters before staring down at where a large hunk of wood was just embedded in his arm.

“Oh shit… Oh fuck doc… Doc!” Scout panicked, shaking and paling at the blood that covered his arm. “Doc!” he whimpered again, eyes looking to where the battered and bruised miniature was barely moving himself. “Doc…?” Scout panted softly as he limped over and collapsed to his knees beside Sniper’s mostly limp body.

“He… he’s gone intah shock…” Sniper groaned, making several attempts to sit himself up before the blood loss was starting to get to him and create growing nausea. “Get… Get Engi lad… Get Engi…” the Aussie grunted, clothes thoroughly stained with blood as the Boston boy blinked and nodded, starting to feel rather ill at the sight of just so much blood pooling around just one man.

“Right… Engi… Oh fuck please don’t die…” Scout managed to get out as he stood again and tried to steady his legs, ears still ringing as he stumbled out of the room and called for Engineer. “Engi! Hardhat! Engineer!” Scout yelled, voice swiftly growing hoarse as he limped about and tried to dodge the bullet hell that rained down on him from all angles as best as his broken form could. The Texan peered around the corner of the room he was hiding in, eyes tripling in size as both he, Pyro and Spy ran over.

“Boi what happened??” He gasped a little, checking him over and wincing at the sheer size of the chunk of wood in his arm.

“A… A rocket… a stray rocket I think!” Scout coughed, trying hard to ignore the flaring agony in his injured arm before remembering why he was sent. “Oh crap, Engi! Ya gotta help the Doc and Snipes! Snipes got cut up bad! And the Doc’s goin’ into some kinda shock!” he yelped, eyes wide and starting to water a little in fear as he grabbed the inventor’s hand and dragged him up to the battered and blood-soaked roost. But by the time they got there, both Sniper’s body and Medic’s body had vanished.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Right in regards to the little voting poll thing I've offered to ya guys, the votes as they stand are:
> 
> \- Heavy/Medic: 2  
> \- Sniper/Medic: 9  
> \- Sniper/Spy: 1  
> \- Support Class: 2  
> \- Medic/Spy: 1
> 
> I'll leave the voting open at least until the little problems of this chapter are resolved in the next one or two! :) Until then, keep sending your votes and your plot ideas if you have any! No really- I would honestly love to hear them c:


	9. Aftermath

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, all I can say is this was perhaps the chapter that had the most faffing done to it yet!
> 
> Enjoy! :D

“ _Victory!”_ The Administrator called out not seconds after Engi and Scout had arrived at the roost, startling them a little as to how their team had scraped a victory without Medic nor Scout technically present. Their weapons were critzed and ready to go but neither the Texan nor the Bostonian moved from where they were stood, still in utter shock. The Doc’s body and the Sniper’s body were gone! They were _gone_ and that could only mean that they had been forced through the re… spawn… _oh no_. Engineer jumped up and sprinted off down to their spawn room, mind in a total state of concern and slight panic. If Medic was sent to respawn as a _fairy_ then it’d erase his past DNA copies! He wouldn’t ever respawn as human again! That in turn would mean no more victories for the RED team, regardless of how well they apparently performed today!

“Hardhat where ya goin?!” Scout screeched as he tried to bolt after the Texan inventor, having to stop and limp after him as his ribs were pure agony and his twisted ankle reminded him of _why_ they had to respawn.

“The spawn room! If Doc’s had tah respawn, he’ll be there!” Engi shouted back, throwing up the shutters to the room and panting but spying no one there. Soldier soon wandered in from killing the last of the BLU team, covered in blood and grinning wildly from beneath his helmet though that smile soon vanished once he saw Engineer in such a state of distress.

“Engi?” Soldier frowned, setting a hand on his shoulder and turning him. “Engi, what’s wrong?”

“It’s the Doc! He got killed right at the end of the battle!” Engineer cried, eyes wide behind his goggles as he heard a soft grunt of Sniper respawning. He whipped around again and crossed the room in but a few strides, holding the Australian up. “Where’s Medic?? Where is he?!” he said desperately. Sniper coughed and shook his head, wheezing out an ‘I don’t know mate’ before collapsing against the truckie yet not passing out thankfully.

“Wait a minute, wait a minute Engi. Medic died?” Soldier repeated, frowning deeper as he looked around in growing concern, helmet spinning a little with his sharp movements. “Where is that damned Scout?” Just as he’d said this, said Scout stumbled through the shutters with Pyro having to hold him up and giving concerned mumbles.

“Ain’t no sign of the Doc in the roost guys…” Scout panted, shaking and ribcage looking a little deformed from where his ribs were destroyed. “Oh God someone jus’ kill me already… I can’t fuckin’ stand this pain…!” Scout snapped, shaking as Pyro shook their head and was highly reluctant to. Then Spy appeared from nowhere as was his usual little trick, knifing Scout in the back swiftly before stalking over to Engineer, Sniper and Soldier.

“What is zhis I ‘ear about zhe Medic dying in combat.” He said quietly, tone cold and everyone knew they were just _screwed_. Engineer paled and took off his helmet, rubbing his head and sighing.

“I don’t know, lad, I was jus’ pulled up to tha’ roost by Scout since he was yellin’ an’ hollerin’ ‘bout a stray rocket or somethin’ an’ the next thin’ I know, Medic’ an’ Sniper are both dead. Sniper’s ‘ere but the Doc ain’t.” Engi explained, sighing softly as he watched the French assassin closely. The corner of Spy’s mouth twitched and he calmly stubbed out his current cigarette into the back of his Spykit.

“So. You are telling moi ‘e is dead.”

“Yeah.”

“…” There was a longer pause of silence between Engineer’s answer and Spy’s next, the Frenchman thoroughly pissed now.

“WHO ALLOWED ZHAT TO ‘APPEN?!” he roared, whipping around and glaring at every merc present, eyes ablaze with unadulterated fury in such a manner no one had ever seen before, alive or dead. Everyone shuffled nervously, all eyes casting downwards quietly in shame it felt as the tension was just palpable in the air.

“I did.” Sniper soon grunted out from where Engineer was supporting him now. “I dunno wot happened, mate, but by God did I try tah keep him safe.”

“You imbecile! You didn’t try ‘ard enough!”

“You try ruddy-well keeping yer eye on the bloody battlefield _and_ whether a bloody Spook’s gonna come get ya arse _and_ where yer team’s intel is _and_ where the Doc is! All while trynna stay alive!” Sniper snapped back, glaring and starting to get rather riled up as he approached the Spy.

“You don’t _need_ to keep an eye on everyzhing, _Bushman_!” Spy spat, snarling out the nickname as if it left great distaste in his mouth. “All you need to keep an eye on is your post et zhe Medic!”

“An’ I was tryin’! I ain’t exactly used tah all the routine changes ya bloody mongrel!”

“Don’t go calling moi zhe mongrel ‘ere, Sniper! If anyzhing, it is you who is zhe mongrel!”

“Ya wanna bet on that one?” Sniper shouted, soon nose-to-nose with Spy in growing anger and fury before the newly-respawned Scout forced them apart.

“GUYS!” he bellowed as loud as he possibly could, disliking it when members of his team fought among themselves over who got the blame. “That’s enough! Oh my God!” The two bickering Support class mercs soon fell silent, stewing in their respective anger towards one another as Scout pushed them away from one another. “The Doc is gone and all you assholes can do is fuckin’ argue like children?? Like ya always tell me, Spy, selfish or what!” The Frenchman gave him a look, growling lowly as the two tried to refrain from hitting one another. While they’d never seen eye to eye, they always tried to band together if another mercenary amidst their team was injured or missing, now it seemed like they were more likely to tear the other’s throat out more than ever.

“Zhat is quite enough, don’t you dummkopfs zhink.” A small voice growled through the silence that had settled over the eight other mercs, striking them all dumb as they turned towards the source and saw the BLU Medic standing at the open shutters, holding the RED Medic in his hands with an eyebrow raised.

“Zhis is zhe state of your team now, Medic?” he said snarkily, fighting off a grin as his RED counterpart threatened him with his miniaturized bonesaw.

“Ah shut it, schweinhund.” He grunted, flying upwards a little and thanking him for the favour before shooing him away and returning to his team. “Now, vhat in zhe vorld are you all fighting over like babies?”

“Spy wus tryin’ ta blame Sniper!” Scout said swiftly, glaring at the two older mercs before looking at the Medi-fairy again rather sincerely. “Like, for not protectin’ you an’ all!” Medic nodded, thanking him before watching the Boston lad fall silent as his attention turned to the rest of the Support class.

“Really?”

“Well I tried tah protect ya Doc, God knows I tried!” Medic silenced Sniper’s immediate defence with but a raised hand.

“Zhat’s enough, mein freund.” He tutted a little, shaking his head and sighing. “I’m perfectly fine, zhough I somehow respawned in zhe BLU team’s spawn room. Engineer, I zhink you und I need to take a gutt look at our own respawn machine.” He noted, shaking his head as he soon settled himself on Engineer’s metal hand.

“But Doc… Ya DNA readouts, ain’t they gonna be replaced an’ all?” Scout frowned, looking at the little fairy with growing concern, though he’d inevitably later deny being quite so worried.

“Ja, zhere is a razher high risk of zhat happening. If it does, zhen ve vill have to file a transfer to anozher fortress temporarily und travel zhere by Sniper’s van und not teleporter. Ja?” Medic stated calmly so as to soothe the younger’s nerves, watching the runner nod and relax visibly at the reasoning. “Engi, if you vould bitte.” He said, tapping the inventor’s metal hand and watching him nod and carry him off to the room containing the inner workings of the respawn machine itself.

* * *

 

It was a good few hours before either of them came back and when they did it was only Medic by himself, flitting along the corridors lazily though on a mission of his own now: locate and apologise to Sniper for causing Spy to try to blame him. While Engi had done his utmost best to try and soothe that worry in the Medic while they went through readout after readout, it still lingered rather prominently in his mind and it drove him to the point he just simply _had_ to apologise. He’d evidently caused rather a lot of trouble for the Australian as much as he hadn’t ever wanted to and he just had to set it right.

His thoughts were occupied as he buzzed his way down the surprisingly empty corridors, assuming subconsciously that everyone else must be in the common room though he knew Sniper had long since retreated to his van. Wait, he’d gone to his _van_ , so why was Medic flying along the _corridors_? The German groaned and slapped his forehead upon realising as he headed to the nearest open window and flew out into the cool night air. A smile passed his lips at the light breeze that thankfully didn’t jostle him about as he corrected his course towards Sniper’s van that was always parked just outside the Teufort’s grounds. Upon arrival he had to tap on the window so Sniper would hear him, smiling sleepily as he was brought in like a stray.

“Doc? Wot’re ya doin’ ‘ere? Shouldn’t ya be helpin’ Engi?” Sniper frowned, eyebrows furrowing together as he held the exhausted fairy in his hands.

“Nein, Engi said he could managed for a little vhile und zhat I should probably go und get some food. I said I vould. I lied.” Medic chuckled softly, flopping over into the palm of Sniper’s hand with an ‘oof’.

“Heh, ya look kinda tired there Doc.”

“Ach, vell I _am_ getting old, Herr Sniper.”

“Nah yer only… wot, ten years older than I am?” Sniper grinned as Medic gave a soft chuckle, shaking his head and rolling onto his back while being mindful of his delicate wings.

“Fair point, fair point. Zhough ten years is razher a long time.” Medic hummed before shaking his head and feeling his heartrate rocket. “Anyvay, zhat isn’t vhy I’m here instead of getting food.”

“Ya know I can give ya food ‘ere right.” Sniper deadpanned a little, snorting as Medic made a little ‘Oh’ noise and smiled sheepishly.

“Ja vell…”

“Hang tight, I’ll get ya somethin’.” Sniper grinned cheekily, shaking his head as he sat the Medic down on the counter and proceeded to faff about with the cupboards to see what he could find. The mini German gave a soft chuckle and smiled.

“Anyvay, as I vas saying. I’m here to apologise for landing you in zhe heat vizh Herr Spy.” Medic said, smile fading a little as he sighed, Sniper’s actions slowing.

“Oh, nah Doc that ain’t much tah ‘pologise ‘bout, mate. Really, I’ve taken worse from that backstabbin’ Spook.” Sniper said, waving it off as his heart began to race slightly.

“Nein, zhose times vere due to your own cockiness. Zhis time it vas mein fault, und I apologise for it most sincerely…” Medic sighed a little again, resting his head in his hands. “Given zhe vay I’ve been recently due to… revelations of mein own to meinself… I haven’t been acting like meinself. Judgement has been clouded und such…”

“Yeah? How come? Wot revelations?” Sniper couldn’t stop himself from asking, barely looking up from where he was crumbling up some biscuits for Medic to eat.

“Just some personal ones.”

“Mind sharing?”

“Preferably not, danke.”

“Ah, alright mate.” Sniper left it at that, not one for intruding. Though in the corner of his mind he hoped, he could only _hope_ that Medic meant what he hoped he meant. After all, a bloke only acted that kind of way when he had a crush on someone. Sniper shook his head a little to himself, tutting quietly. Nah he was being ridiculous. After all, why would Medic go for a bloke like him? He was just being fanciful and ridiculous, nothing more, nothing less. There was no way on this earth or the next that Medic would ever, _ever_ love a guy like him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Voting is over! Thank you all for your feedback for which pairing you want and here are the results!
> 
> \- Heavy/Medic: 3  
> \- Sniper/Medic: 14  
> \- Sniper/Spy: 1  
> \- Support Class: 4  
> \- Medic/Spy: 1
> 
> And, well, you can all see who's won! Once again, I really appreciated you all voting and I'll honestly really will still be accepting future ideas for events for this fic :) So please feel free to send them in with your comments! :D


	10. Awkward

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M SORRY. I'm so sorry I haven't updated in a while! Hospital appointment and then my As Level results today too! D: That, and dearest mother decides to keep turning off the WiFi. :I Anywho, enough dillydallying!
> 
> Have fun!

Things were starting to get awkward, Spy had noticed, between Medic and Sniper in the RED base. It was the day after the unfortunate battle mishap and the mercs thankfully had the day off, making them all glad for once that they had an alternating battle schedule, as the lounged about in their rooms situated in the other building behind Teufort itself. This entire building was solely for recreational purposes and dormitory use, as Soldier had kindly reiterated to the team about seventeen times within the hour of their first day there. All of their quarters were located in the same corridor, making mornings and drinking nights absolute havoc when there were about eight or sometimes all nine of them trying to stumble and wobble their way into the same confined space to reach their own rooms, and were perhaps exactly two metres from door to door though no one had ever bothered to count this out to find out for certain. Medic’s room was the furthest from the double doors that lead to the Mess Hall and rendered him the last one in for breakfast all the time regardless of whether he was awake first or last while Scout’s room was the closest, meaning the Boston lad was always first and always the one to pig out on most of the food from the dispenser in there. Engineer’s room was directly after Scout’s and he was always on a mission to get in there before Scout, success still pending as his sole mission was to stop him from eating all the food before Medic could get there. God only knew how, if left to his own devices, Medic wouldn’t willingly get up and get his food when everyone else did in spite of how much he needed it. Sometimes it fell to Sniper to fetch him and ensure the old German would eat, the Australian never minding one bit about being put on this ‘duty’ whenever it came to it. Sure he’d sometimes grumble in front of the others but personally it was an honour to do such a thing, especially when Medic was thankful for it each time. Now though, it was becoming an uphill struggle as Sniper knocked on Medic’s door repeatedly. The Medi-fairy had been absent from dinner rather strangely once he, Engi and Sniper had all gotten in from their varying places around the fortress and no one had seen hind nor hair of him since. Sniper knocked again, sighing.

“Doc?” He was met, once again, with no answer and it only worried him further. “Doc, c’mon mate, ya gotta come get dinner ‘fore Scout gets it all again.” Again, silence greeted the sharpshooter and a slight sigh left him.

“Awrite, that’s it. I’m comin’ in there whether you’re ready or not.” Sniper grunted, soon pushing open the door and his features immediately creased at the eerie silence that rushed forwards. “Medic? Where are ya?” he called quietly as he moved slowly into the room, careful just in case Medic was underfoot or running around the floor for any reason. Once he’d checked the floor with the utmost scrutiny, Sniper moved forwards again and examined Medic’s bed. Still neatly made after Spy had come in shortly after Medic’s curse had taken place and cleaned everything up. Odd. The Aussie’s attention soon turned to the desk after he’d examined the bed, brow furrowing as that too was still in good condition and unchanged from its usual extremely tidy nature. Then Sniper moved around to the other side, checking the floor out of habit now, and took a good look at the chair. Still nothing.

“Doc, c’mon, this ain’t funny anymore. I’ll send Scout in tah find ya.” Sniper threatened half-heartedly, looking around hopelessly and sitting down in Medic’s high-backed chair. That ought to rile up the hiding fairy: no one sat in Medic’s chair and lived another twenty-four hours.

Nothing. There wasn’t even a squeak of irritation. There was only silence. Then a rustle made Sniper jump sky-high and whip around in the chair to look at the window sill, glaring at Archimedes who was just nesting again in a nest made out of perhaps 99% bones and cartilage.

“Damn bird…” Sniper huffed, shaking his head and frowning as the dove cooed to him. “Ah, shut up, ya didn’t scare me… uh… Wot’s yer name again…? Ah, Archimedes. Yeah, ya didn’t scare me ya stupid bloody bird.” He was merely met with another coo as he rolled his eyes and spun around on the chair, looking out across Medic’s room and sighing. There was still no sign of the two and a half inch tall man and it was starting to really worry Sniper to the bones. Another rustle met his ears and the Aussie growled, thoughts mainly preoccupied as he stared at some of the photos on the opposite wall. His curiosity peaked and he got up, walking over and looking through them with a faint grin. They all were photographs taken from their previous ‘adventures’. The battles against the machine invasion took up most of the wall; team photos, single photos, really interestingly placed shots and even beautiful sunsets made up the collage. Though one thing was noticeable and common – Medic himself was always absent from them. Except for two. One was of him by himself while the other was with the rest of the Support Class. It was from Mannworks, Sniper recognised that much, as his eyes drank in the details. His long, bloodstained coat was frozen in time from where it must have been billowing in the wind, the Medic himself stood upon a boulder and looking out across the battlefield where numerous robot bodies littered it like dead ants. The sun had been setting in the background, illuminating his face with a soft golden glow that, in a rather majestic way, removed all evidence of him being well into his forties from his character. There was a slight smile painted on his ageless face and it made Sniper smile, reminiscing on that day before his eyes were stolen away by the other photograph of the Medic with himself and Spy. All three were grinning like Cheshire cats as they stared at the camera, covered in blood and oil with a scratch or a graze or a bandage here and there, Sniper in the middle with his arms looped loosely around their shoulders. Medic was smiling so wonderfully in that one too, making Sniper flush slightly at the sight.

“God I miss that…” Sniper sighed contently, smiling and lost in his memories. “It was good… Happy, happy times…” he shook his head. “And now look at yaself, Sniper, yer a bloody mess. Crush on a bloke that ain’t never gonna like ya in the same way… Yer a bloody idiot fer likin’ that doc…” He growled to himself, effectively scolding himself for loving Medic in such a manner that drove him insane, that made his heart skip beats and his stomach fill with butterflies. Yet he hated himself for it. Oh, how he hated himself so much. Another growl passed his lips and his snarled a little before hearing a small cough. Sniper whipped around and stared, wide-eyed, at the little figure stood beside Archimedes. Medic must have just flown in and heard _all_ of that.

“Herr Sniper?” Medic blinked a little, staring slightly in utter shock it would seem at having heard everything the sharpshooter had said. “I… you like… me?” he mumbled, wings tensed and barely even flicking or twitching as Sniper tensed up awkwardly.

“Uh…” Sniper swallowed, lips dry and throat dryer as his eye twitched. “I…” Silence fell between them with such palpable awkwardness that it almost felt difficult to _breathe_ for the two classes. Medic stared still, oddly quiet as he wasn’t entirely certain of what to say whatsoever as Sniper felt his ears redden and warm. Then the Australian bolted from the room in a moment of panic, shaking and a brilliant crimson flooding his cheeks as he panicked and hid out in his own room. He’d screwed up. _Big time._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oooh this one seems shorter than the rest, even though it's at a similar word count O.o If any of you think anything ought to be added to this one, either to buff it out a little or improve it, please let me know!


	11. Heaven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah this one is much shorter than the others I think and I really need to go to bed (It's like 10:30pm by the time I post this and I would like to try to reset my sleeping schedule at some point XD ) so... Yeah, it's not the best and I'll probably redo it a little if and when I figure out the time and manner in which to do so.
> 
> Enjoy! If you can...?

By the time Medic had recovered from his initial shock, Sniper had vanished and the door banged against the doorframe but not closing behind him. The tiny fairy stumbled a little in such surprise, staring at where Sniper had been stood with his mouth agape and wings completely still. Well now what was he going to do?! Not only had he made things perhaps ten times more awkward between himself and the Australian that was almost _naturally_ anti-social (or ‘shy and introverted’ as someone had once tried to pass it off as), he’d scared him off as well as his only chances at not living alone anymore! The German soon groaned and slumped on his desk, Archimedes fluttering over and settling beside his two inch tall owner with a coo. Medic looked up and gave another groan, flopping against the dove and virtually sinking into his fluffy feathers with a miserable noise.

“Vhat am I going to do _now_ , Archimedes…? How can I possibly speak to him now vizhout any awkwardness between us since I heard everyzhing?” All he received in the form of any kind of answer was a coo, but somehow it felt more comforting to know Archie would listen even if the dove never gave any advice. Or, well, obvious advice that is – he seemed to have a way without words that tended to give Medic just the ‘advice’ he needed at that time. Perhaps he was going mad, or rather he was just understanding of his doves more than people. Maybe that was why he couldn’t always communicate so well with those he needed to or felt a particular connection towards. Maybe that was why he couldn’t always keep eye contact with Sniper when he was talking to him and… oh. Right. He still needed to fix this whole awkwardness with said bloke. Damn. His wings twitched as he sighed and got up again, looking at Archimedes with a hum; it was likely he could ride him, as had been suggested before by Scout many a time. Hm, yes. He had to try it! The Medi-fairy grabbed some string he had lying around for God-knows-what reason before carefully mounting the bird and tying it loosely around his neck.

“Go on, Archimedes, off you go! To Sniper!” He grinned a little madly, almost forgetting about the burning embarrassment within him as the dove finished preening its feathers before giving a coo and taking off rather suddenly, drawing a yelp from Medic as he held on with an iron grip. He yelled as the bird took off out the open door, clinging to his neck and whimpering as he closed his eyes while the ‘wind’ rushed through his hair and he was flown through corridors away from his room and outside.

“Archie! Nein! I need to go to Sniper’s room!” Medic yelled in terror and panic, eyes wide once he’d opened them to see they were outside and wings tensed right up. The dove merely cooed again and flew towards Sniper’s van before landing on the roof. Medic panted and held onto him a little less tightly as he fell quiet and listened – no signs of Sniper actually being in the van.

“Archimedes.” Medic said rather sternly, looking up at the adorable bird that tilted his head back towards his owner, “Sniper’s _room_ zhis time if you please!” He said, crying out in fright once more as the dove took off and in mere seconds was perched on Sniper’s window sill. The German madman climbed off and looked inside, the window just open as he climbed in quietly and saw Sniper sprawled on his bed rather miserably. Oh dear, this wasn’t looking too good now as he recognised what he’d done. The Australian sharpshooter was muttering to himself and it wasn’t until Medic flitted over and sat on the head of the bed could he hear him slightly better.

“… stupid… bloody idiot… why would ya ever think a bloke like him… all charmin’ an’ fancy an’ refined an’ just downright attractive… would ever go fer a bloke like you… scrawny an’ scraggly an’ disgustin’ an’ gross… Fer chrissake ya piss in a bloody feckin’ jar fer cryin’ out loud!” Sniper suddenly snapped at himself, sitting up and throwing his kukri into the opposite wall in evident distress. “An’ now ya just made things bloody worse by admittin’ yer feelin’s in a bloody room where he coulda been hidin’ anywhere!” Medic felt his heart sink a little in his chest, knowing how Sniper felt and still feeling _awful_ for rendering him like this. For putting him into a state of self-loathing of all things. Sure, Sniper always had a good word to say about everyone else but now it seemed he never had anything to say about himself. Medic had to put an end to that! But… how?

“Uhm… Herr Sniper…?” Medic wheezed out, still rather windswept from his ride with Archimedes and then jumping sky high upon the assassin whipping around at frightening speeds to face the source of the little voice.

“OH BLOODY FUCKIN’ HELL NO NOT AGAIN!” Sniper yelped as Medic winced at the volume, watching him scramble away in panic.

“Vait! VAIT!” Medic shouted as best he could get his voice heard, whining a little as he geared his wings into lifting him. “Stop! I’m not here to have a go at you or anyzhing! I just vant to understand vhat zhe hell I just heard twice now!” he said, hands up in a kind of surrender as Sniper flailed and ended up tripping over with his long, gangly legs entangled in a blanket. Smooth, Sniper, real smooth. He looked up, eyes wide and pupils dilate as his aviators were completely askew on his face and his hat was flung somewhere from his tumble.

“Oh crikey… oh piss… Listen, Doc? If, if ya hate me, I can understand why! Really I can!” Sniper started before Medic tutted.

“Dummkopf, vhy vould I hate you?” The German sighed, flitting down to where Sniper was and standing in front of his long, panicked face. “You said you liked me?” It took him a long time to answer and when he did it came out as an incoherent mumble.

“Y-Yeah…”

“Und, you like me in a vay you vould be content vizh staying vizh me for… vell, not _life_ but certainly a long time?”

“…yeah…”

“Hm. Interesting.” Sniper face-planted the floor with a defeated, devastated groan – the Doc didn’t return his feelings! Oh now what was he gonna do with his life? Hide it out under a rock in the middle of fuck-knows-where? Actually, that option seemed more favourable compared to having to live with the shame of the feared German Medic himself knowing that he, a useless _camper_ , held feelings for hi-

“Oh stop looking so vorried! It’s not like it’s one-sided!”

That’s it. He was dead. Sniper was so dead. He was surely dead and in heaven right now. He was in heaven where the Spies could fly and sing and the Scouts weren’t annoying to no end and the Pyros spoke English and where _the Medic loved him_. Wait, he was loved? What?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DUN DUN DUUUUN. What can I say? I love my cliffhangers! If you could even call this a cliffhanger.... Oh well! I don't care! I'm going to bed! XD


	12. An intervention is needed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah this one isn't my best, I can't even lie there. I kept getting distracted and I lost focus on where this was even meant to /go/. But, it's done and I hope you all get the general idea.
> 
> Enjoy...? Eh...?

Spy had been walking peacefully along the corridors that evening by himself, cigarette in his mouth as he rolled it slightly between his lips. He knew it wasn’t actually all that good for him, especially considering he had to be stealthy and a future smoker’s cough wasn’t the stealthiest of things, and yet he did it anyway though this time it was out of concern for the rest of his Support Class. Medic has been missing for most of the evening since getting back with Engineer from the Respawn room while Sniper had been seen most recently sprinting into his room with a look of panic on his face, at least according to Scout anyway. Spy had chosen not to ask about the bunny blanket the boy was wrapped in as he made his way towards Sniper’s room and listened in at the door, frowning upon hearing two voices coming from within before hearing a thud.

“Hm…” Spy frowned before hearing Medic tut.

“Herr Sniper, you dummkopf, get up!” he huffed as Sniper merely groaned and gave a weird noise that was something between a grunt and a noise of… glee? Spy rolled his eyes and tutted, knocking on the door before just walking straight in upon getting no real answer from either of them.

“Merde, Medic did you really ‘ave to murder ‘im?”

“I didn’t kill him, schweinhund!” Medic squawked, waving his arms a little upon hearing such an accusation as he defended himself as best he could from the position he was in, being two inches tall and stood in front of Sniper’s downed body on the floor.

“Well it looks like you ‘ave. What did you do?” Spy sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose between finger and thumb as Sniper made another noise straight into the floor as Medic rolled his eyes behind his tiny glasses.

“I only said zhat his feelings veren’t just one-sided!”

“Oh, so you like ‘im back zhen?”

“Vell… ja…” Medic mumbled rather shyly, cheeks burning redder as Spy smirked and hauled Sniper up by the collar of his shirt.

“Oh, stop being such a baby, bushman. ‘E likes you back, isn’t zhat enough?” Spy scolded a little, standing Sniper up as the Australian was surprisingly red in the cheeks as he looked to where the Medi-fairy had flitted up to be on Spy’s shoulder again.

“Well, yeah but… but… well… I never really imagined he… _would._ ” Sniper said, rubbing the back of his neck as he slouched a little and stuffed his other hand in his pocket while Medic crossed his arms.

“Und vhy is zhat, hm?” Medic said, slightly offended at the notion as he watched him closely.

“Because… ‘Cause…” Sniper groaned at his inability to be able to speak coherent words or even words at all as it all finally came bursting out in a rush of words and emotion. “’Cause ya always ignore me! I ask ya fer help or I yell fer ya in battles an’ ya don’t heal me or help me! An’ I kept askin’ cuz I just wanted ya tah notice me but ya still don’t! I jus’ stopped hopin’ an’… gave up…” he finished lamely, shoulders sagging as he grabbed his hat again and tilted it over his eyes in embarrassment and shame all while Medic and Spy gawked at him, the Frenchman soon snorting.

“You vere afraid of zhat? You vere afraid of me rejecting you?” Medic frowned, refraining from devolving into laughter as the Aussie glared at him a little while his cheeks stained redder.

“Oi! Rejection ain’t exactly the nicest thing ya bloody Spook! ‘Especially fer a guy who… who’s only ever known rejection an’ not anythin’ else… An’ don’t start with the whole ‘well you’ll be used tah it!’ shite, I get that ‘nuff from my parents!” Sniper defended as Spy held his hand up between the bickering duo.

“Zhat is enough from zhe bozh of you.” Spy said rather firmly as Medic hovered above his shoulder with a slight look of amusement on his face. “Sniper, you really shouldn’t just _assume_ -“

“Well wot else was I gonna do, eh? You tell me, mate! Everyone I ever tried tah talk tah about how I felt fer ‘em jus’ outright rejected me! An’ when they _did_ wanna talk, they just laughed an’ pushed me away like everyone else did regardless of how I felt!” the Australian countered, hurt evident in his glare as Medic recognised it and swiftly fell silent.

“Herr Sniper… You really vere afraid?” He said quietly, watching him and starting to feel even more uncomfortable upon realising what he’d essentially done to this man before him. Ignoring him, refusing to heal him, refusing or forgetting to help or check on him… this was part of the damage he’d done to a man who _loved_ him and everything about his nuts German self. How could he?

“I… yeah…” Sniper gave up, nodding meekly as Medic stared.

“I’m sorry… Perhaps it vould be best if you just steered clear of me, considering how vell I have treated you vhen you are are _trying_ to be near me…” the miniature German sighed miserably, wings going flat as he felt terrible. He thought he’d be able to rectify this mess by coming here to Sniper’s room, not make it ten times worse at the truth being unveiled! Spy tutted and shook his head.

“I zhink my work ‘ere is done for now. You can fix zhis mess yourselves. I’m going to bed. Au revoir, my ridiculous friends.” Spy sighed, rolling his eyes and making his exit as Medic had to hover where his shoulder of a perch had once been. Both men tried to think of something to say to one another but were drawing up blanks and it just made everything all the more tense. Medic sighed to himself, knowing full well he’d screwed up and before he could dwell on it he was already thinking of ways to make things better. He knew the kinds of things Sniper liked and he knew how to accomplish them… as a normal sized human, that is. As a fairy-type, he’d have to get someone to help him and God only knew that anyone he asked would inevitably rat him out to Sniper himself. Unless…

Medic’s eyes widened and a grin spread across his face, apologising again to Sniper and having to excuse himself from his presence to flit out the room and down the corridors. He was looking for a certain merc and he was convinced that they’d be able to help him without ratting him out to Sniper. Only one. It took him time to actually get where he needed to go, but when he did he was straight on their case.

_“Pauling here, what do you need Medic?”_

“Your help, bitte.”


	13. Assistance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh lord. This is later than I'd intended it to be. And since my A Levels have really started up, things are going to slow right down in terms of any kinds of uploads. And I apologise for it greatly T^T

Medic sighed as Miss Pauling had finally gotten over her initial laughing fit upon seeing the tiny winged merc hovering in front of her, rolling his eyes. His arms were crossed and if he were on a surface he’d be tapping his foot in growing impatience. Medic had waited for a good couple of hours for Miss Pauling’s arrival and he wasn’t exactly getting any younger to be perfectly honest. He cleared his throat, tapping on the rim of her glasses as his wings buzzed away.

“Are you done now, Miss Pauling?” he frowned, the tiny German raising a brow as she giggled again and soon got a grip on herself.

“Yes, yes. My apologies…!” she managed to get out before devolving into giggles again for but a couple of seconds. “Right, sorry, yes. What did you need my help for, Medic?” Miss Pauling finally managed to get out, still smiling in great amusement – she’d have to report this to the Administrator later for certain and while this wasn’t exactly a violation of fortress rules and regulations, she was going to report it anyway. All the way here Miss Pauling had kept wondering to herself what the Medic needed her for exactly and there was a slight part of her that hoped that for once it wouldn’t be to do his monthly ‘organ runs’ to just pillage the dead bodies of the Teufort mercenaries’ targets for useable leftovers. Those requests were getting boring by now.

“Vell… You see…” Medic started, sighing as he soon had to explain _everything_ to her just so that she would understand his little predicament completely. Oh great now she was smirking and grinning wider than a Cheshire cat, wonderful. Medic glared a little at her in a silent bid for her to just not say anything, to just nod and accept that he needed her help for once.

“Alright, alright. You need my help in cheering Sniper up, yes?” She said, still greatly amused at this development as the German reluctantly nodded and rubbed the back of his neck. “What did you have in mind?”

“A new pet for him, I reckon.” Medic said, lightening up a little bit as his wings quivered faster in slight excitement almost before he had to land on Miss Pauling’s shoulder out of exhaustion – he rarely spent more than five or ten minutes in the air by himself since his new metabolism and such meant he burnt through ‘stored’ food faster and wore himself out much quicker than ever. The supervisor’s eyebrow immediately raised and risked being lost to her hair line with how high she’d raised it.

“I beg your pardon? A new _pet_? Medic, I already bent about thirty rules getting him that owl and now you want me to outright _break_ the rest?!”

“I know, I know! It’s a big ask! But it’s all I could zhink of zhat might help cheer him up! He’s been upset und moody as anyzhing since I last spoke to him!” Medic yelped a little as the volume of Miss Pauling’s voice had been enough to give the impression to the two and a half inch tall male that she’d been shouting. Miss Pauling groaned a little, shaking her head and scooping him up into her hand carefully, inwardly taking greater joy at seeing just how easily he fit into even her ‘dainty’ little hands.

“And what pet did you have in mind?”

“…a…” the rest came out mumbled from him, the Medi-fairy looking exceptionally sheepish all of a sudden upon being asked the preference of the new pet.

“Medic?” Miss Pauling said rather sternly, eyebrow quirking a little as she frowned down at the tiny man. Medic gave a nervous laugh, rubbing his cheek a little and giving a little grin.

“A snake.”

“A SNAKE?!”

“Ja! Specifically a tame boa constrictor!!” Miss Pauling looked as if she were about to faint of all things at such a request. It was hard enough to get a snake that passed even a miniscule amount of the regulations of the RED team, but he wanted a _boa constrictor_?! It would mean breaking every single rule that Miss Pauling had painstakingly put into place, never mind that it was perhaps one of the most deadly snakes in existence and he wanted a _tame_ one? Medic cocked his head and looked up at Miss Pauling curiously as she had pinched the bridge of her nose between finger and thumb, almost looking beyond frustrated and outright irritation and exasperation. It took her a fair while to respond to his ask and statement, her mind running at perhaps a million miles an hour now as she thought of everything that could easily go wrong with having such a dangerous and _lethal_ animal on the base.

“I’ll see what I can do, Medic. Please try not to make things worse to the point you want me to smuggle in a baby koala or kangaroo for you just to cheer him up. He’s _your_ responsibility, not mine. I’m not going to keep on babysitting you both and trying to tend to your needs all the time. Sometimes, Medic, all that needs to be done is a simple apology for acting an ass rather than complexities. Understand?” she said firmly, as if talking to but a child.

“Ja.” Medic huffed a little, rolling his eyes. “I understand.” He acknowledged before flitting off to visit Sniper as it was fast approaching perhaps day three of his time as a fairy, meaning he only had four left being a bitesized mercenary and he was going to make the best use of it as he could. The German flit his wings as fast as he could carry himself into the common room, hoping to catch Sniper before the Aussie would eventually retreat to his roost or his van and once he’d arrived there he was thankful to see him currently engaged in building a tower of cards with Pyro. A faint smile painted Medic’s lips as he flit over and perched on the table there carefully, watching Pyro clap his hands at the appearance of the Medic while Sniper almost grimaced at the memory of their most recent encounter aside from this one. Needless to say the both of them were as awkward as schoolgirls in front of their crushes for the first times in their lives – both were more intent on avoiding awkward eye contact and were blushing like children before Pyro noticed and made a little noot before picking Medic up and setting him on the brim of the sharpshooter’s hat, clapping his hands again and giving a muffled laugh out of glee at how adorable it appeared to the firebug. Medic groaned and put his face in his hands out of embarrassment, not in a million years about to admit he rather enjoyed being perched up so high as Sniper made a slight noise from where he was trying to put the last cards together at the top of the tower.

“Doc if you so much as sneeze-“ Sniper threatened, voice low and almost gravelly in such a manner that made the doctor shiver a little and his manhood tremble.

“I’m not going to, danke schoen.” Medic almost pouted, not that Sniper could see it from where he was. Oh the next few days were going to be such fun as everyone else could very clearly see from their varying positions around the common room, be it arm wrestling at the poker table or polishing weapons on the couch, that both Medic and Sniper had an evident thing for one another and what was even better was that neither of them were even attempting to acknowledge it as a fact.


End file.
